


Falling

by eunkwangeee



Category: BTOB
Genre: ChangJae Highschool AU, Cliche because why not, M/M, english isn't my first language, sorry for grammar mistakes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-25
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-13 16:00:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 31,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14751938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eunkwangeee/pseuds/eunkwangeee
Summary: Lee Changsub is Yook Sungjae's persistent admirer for three years. To say that he hates the older is an understatement. Things get worse when their professor wants him to tutor Changsub. Everyday he tells him to leave him alone but the older just won't listen. Eventually, he gave up on telling him that. Maybe he actually enjoys the other's company? Maybe he likes the way Changsub smiles at him? He doesn't really know.Until one day, Lee Changsub decides to tell him that he's finally giving up on him. The jerk even had the guts to pat his shoulder and smile at him!Yook Sungjae should be the happiest person right at that moment. So he doesn't get why he's standing at Lee Changsub's front door at 3:00 am because he cannot freaking sleep unless... the older takes back what he said to him that day.





	1. CHAPTER ONE

**Author's Note:**

> My first ever changjae fic lmao. I was bored so I decided to write this. Sorry for any grammatical errors. As I said earlier, english isn't my main language. I'm already half-way done for the next chapter btw! Please stay tuned! Thank you for reading!

 

"My love! Sungjae my love!"

He walked faster as soon as he heard that familiar cheery voice. _Here we go again._ That annoying guy never failed to ruin his mornings. Everyday he thought of many different ways to get rid of this bad luck in his life. What did he even do to deserve such fate? Sometimes he wished he was born in a different country because if that was the case, he'll never encounter a nutcase that is Lee Changsub.

"You always walk so fast whenever you see me, my love." Changsub beamed at him, finally matching his pace. "You hate being with me that much, huh?"

"Yeah," he said matter of factly. "So get lost."

But instead of being offended, the guy just burst into laughter. Sungjae knew that he was being rude because he's talking to someone four years older than him without any hint of respect in his voice, but he didn't care. Why would he respect someone who keeps on pestering him on a daily basis?

"Ah," the older guy blurted suddenly. "Are you free after school, my love? I want to invite you to watch our musical! Although I only get to play a minor character, it will make me happy if youㅡ"

"I'm not." he abruptly said, interrupting Changsub in his speech. "I don't have time to watch your musical. I have lots of things to do. I told you that yesterday too, didn't I? Don't bother me about this again."

Changsub's disappointed face was never left unnoticed by Sungjae. Who wouldn't feel that way? He had just rudely refused his request eventhough the guy was asking him nicely. It's the truth, though. He was also busy with his own Drama Club. Their practice hours were getting longer each passing day. He couldn't even play his beloved Overwatch after he gets home, so how the hell could he even attend a stupid musical?

One second he was disappointed, the next second he was smiling at him again. Sungjae would never understand how Changsub does it. It was like he never really heard all of the offensive words he had said to him a while ago.

"It's fine, my love. I know you're busy too." Changsub replied to him while nodding. "Can we have lunch later? I'll wait for you at the cafeteㅡ"

"No."

"Okay! See you at Chemistry later!" Changsub grinned at him. "Fighting, my love!"

And then he was gone, finally. Changsub ran to the opposite direction of their building. Their schedules were quite different, thank god. Biology and Trigonometry were the only subjects they share. Sungjae couldn't imagine if they share the same schedule. He might not survive the entire school year if that happened.

Sungjae went inside his classroom and sat on his chair. Ilhoon, his seatmate, immediately smirked as soon as he saw him. "You look pissed, Sungjae-yah. Did you meet the love of your life in the hallways again?"

"Shut up, Ilhoon." he scoffed while opening his bag to get his english book out. "When will that nutter leave me alone? I already told him that I dont swing that way. I just want him to stop bothering me, but he just doesn't listen to me."

"Poor you," Ilhoon didn't even manage to sound sympathetic. "I don't know about you, but I think Changsub hyung is cute."

"Well, go and have him. He's all yours."

Ilhoon just laughed at him. He sighed. He wanted to end this day already.

***

Sungjae was busy munching on his lunch when he saw someone sat in front of his table. He lazily informed the intruder without lifting his gaze.

"Sorry, that seat is already takenㅡ"

"Hi, my love!"

He angrily looked up and saw Lee Changsub smiling sweetly at him. He wanted to puke. His eyes suddenly fell into the soda that the older man was holding. His eyebrows knotted in confusion.

"Ah!" the older guy exclaimed, as if reading what's on his mind, and then gave him the said drink. "I bought this for you, my love. I know you like sodas."

He shook his head and gave the soda back to Changsub. "I like sodas, but I don't like you. Keep it. I have my own drink with me." and then he pointed to his own glass of water for Changsub to see.

The guy only laughed. Not even offended in the slightest bit. "Come on, my love, it's just a drink. Please accept it. It'll make me happy if youㅡ"

"I don't want to make you happy."

Changsub laughed even more and a little louder. Sungjae didn't like the sound of his laughter. It pissed him off.

"But you're making me happy now." The older guy just grinned at him, eyes forming into moon crescents. "If you accept this, I'll leave you aloneㅡ"

"Oh, hello Changsub hyung!" Ilhoon greeted the older after returning from the counter. "Are you giving Sungjae that soda?"

"Yeah. He said he likes sodas, but he doesn't like me."

"What does that have to do with each other?" Ilhoon snickered at Sungjae while sitting beside Changsub. "Come on Sungjae-yah. It's just a drink. It won't hurt if you accept itㅡ"

"If you haven't noticed, I already have a drink, Ilhoon." He quickly dismissed his friend, and then he irritatingly turned to Changsub. "I said I don't like it. Do I have to repeat it all over again for you to understand, or you're just being fucking stupid again?"

"Yook Sungjae," Ilhoon warned him, playfulness disappearing on his handsome features. "Watch your mouth."

"This idiot just keeps on pestering me andㅡ"

"I get it." Changsub sighed, and then finally stood up. The drink was still in his sweaty hand. "I think I need to go now. My next subject will start in three minutes. I actually just came by to give you this, but I guess... it didn't work? Anyways, see you again later at Trigonometry!"

Changsub calmly walked away from their table, and then he threw the soda to the nearest trash can. After that, he turned to look and smile in their direction. He also waved one last time, and then he ran as fast as lightning to go to the school's computer building.

_What a weirdo._

"I didn't know you could be that rude, Sungjae." Ilhoon turned to him, scolding his attitude a while ago. "He's just giving you a drink, for god's sake. What's so hard in accepting that?"

Sungjae put down his chopsticks and sighed, his appetite's been long gone. "I don't like to accept it, okay? I don't need a drink. I already have one." He argued back. His voice laced with irritation. "Don't tell me you're siding with him? Whose friend are you?"

"I'm not siding with anyone," Ilhoon hissed at him. "I just thought you went a little overboard. He came by just to give you a drink even if he might arrive late to his next subject, and then you just decided to call him stupid. What the fuck, Sungjae? Where are your manners? How disrespectful."

Sungjae didn't even feel any remorse. He knew he did nothing wrong. It's been three years since that guy had started pestering him. It has also been three years since he kept on rejecting and rejecting whatever that guy's offering him, be it a simple drink or his love confession. It seemed like Lee Changsub couldn't take a fucking hint.

He's straight. He doesn't like guys. He doesn't swing that way. Was that so hard to understand?

"Seriously, you're scolding me just because of that guy? Don't you think you're being a little shallow?" he chugged his water, feeling thirsty from all that has happened. "Just eat, will you? Don't let him ruin your mood."

"Just to let you know, it's you who has ruined my mood." Ilhoon just shrugged and took a bite of his clubhouse sandwich. "Will you apologize to him?"

He looked at his friend as if he had grown three heads. "What? Never."

Ilhoon just sighed, looking defeated from knocking some sense into his friend's head. "You're hopeless."

***

It was now the second subject that he and Changsub sharesㅡ Trigonometry. Sungjae didn't want to brag, but he's quite good in this subject. Actually, his friend Ilhoon was better than him by just a slight difference. They were considered as Math Gods in their year. They've also been sent to different countries to represent their school in many mathematic competitions, and they always brought home the gold. That's how good they were. Honestly, this was the only reason why he liked going to school. Math was the only reason.

"My love!"

Changsub's voice disconnected him from his train of thoughts. He flipped him his middle finger as a sign of reply. The older just laughed, finding it very amusing. Changsub was seated behind him, unfortunately. If he can only exchange seats, he would have chosen to sit in the front row just so he could stay away from the nutter behind him.

"Class president, please collect all of your classmates' homework now!"

Their professor didn't even manage to greet them properly after entering their classroom. It seemed to him that Mrs. Kim was in a bad mood. He quietly opened his bag and got the piece of paper out. He tried to review all of his answers quickly before their class president reached his seat.

"What, there was a homework?!" he heard Changsub shrieked behind him. He shook his head disbelievingly. "Why didn't I know there was a homework?!"

"It was given two days ago, Changsub-ssi." informed Daehyun, the older's seatmate. "I think you forgot about it. I should've reminded you when we were practicing our musical yesterday. I'm sorry."

"No, no, it isn't your fault. Don't say sorry." Changsub assured Daehyun, voice laced with panic. "Fuck, Mrs. Kim will surely get angry at me again."

"Give me your homework, guys."

Sungjae looked up at Leo, their class president, who was now standing in front of him. He handed his homework to him immediately. Leo looked at it, nodding. Then he turned to the people behind Sungjae, giving them his intense gaze. He actually didn't have to say anything. His looks were enough. Daehyun handed his homework quietly while looking down, afraid to meet their president's gaze. He saw Leo exasperatedly sigh.

"Do I have to wait for you to hand me your homework, Lee Changsub, or not?"

Sungjae heard Changsub murmured "You don't have to." Leo just shook his head, as if already expecting something like this to happen. The president looked at Changsub one last time, and then decided to proceed to the last row to collect their homeworks.

"I'm doomed," Changsub sobbed. "I know I'm doomed."

Sure enough, after their Trigonometry lesson for today, Changsub was angrily ordered by Mrs. Kim to follow her to her office. With slumped shoulders and head hung low, the older had no choice but to quietly follow their professor. Sungjae could already imagine what the situation would be. He just hoped that Mrs. Kim will give the older the punishment he deserved. He smirked to himself. _That's what you get when you don't take school seriously._ Instead of bothering him, Changsub could've just done his homework. That nutter needed to sort out his priorities in life.

"Sungjae-ssi, you're also called to Mrs. Kim's office."

He looked at Leo with a knot on his forehead. "What?"

"You heard me."

He couldn't believe this. What was he going to do there? He didn't like what he was feeling. It felt like something bad was gonna happen.


	2. CHAPTER TWO

"I can't fucking believe this!"

Sungjae was fuming while he and Changsub walked along the hallways of their school building. He just couldn't believe that he will be tutoring the person he didn't want to be with the most. He had tutored people before, and they were harmless and kind of easy to deal with. It's not like he's saying that Lee Changsub would harm him, but Sungjae was kind of really uncomfortable being around him. He would also like to admit that the older guy was already a lost cause, being consistently listed in the bottom ten of their class and all. He didn't know if he could still revive Lee Changsub's dying grades in Trigonometry.

"Why are you so angry, my love?" Changsub had the guts to even sound puzzled. "I thought you have tutored some of our classmates before?"

"Yeah, I've done tutoring before," they turned to the left, and then they continued to walk down the stairs side by side. "It's just that I don't want to tutor you. Of all people, why you? You're a lost cause!"

"Calm down, my love." He heard Changsub laughed. He still was not offended, as usual. "You're not even considering my feelings here."

"What do you mean?" he asked the older. "Don't tell me you don't know that your grades are a lost cause?"

"I'm not talking about my grades." Changsub chuckled while glancing at him. "Did it not occur to you that I also don't like you to be my tutor?"

That made Sungjae stopped on his tracks for a while. _What the hell?_ He gave the older a questioning look.

"You," he pointed his finger to Changsub. "Don't want to be tutored," and then he pointed it to himself. "By me? Who do you think you are to actually tell me that?"

"I'm sorry if I offended you, love." the older even managed to laugh at him, not recognizing the younger's irritated face. "But to tell you honestly, when Mrs. Kim informed me that I'll be having someone to tutor me, I kind of wanted it to be Ilhoon or Leo, not you."

"And may I ask why?" Sungjae didn't know why he's pissed. Lee Changsub, the one who's been telling him he loves him for three years, doesn't like him to be his tutor. The nerve of this guy.

"Well, first of all, Ilhoon is better than you in trigonometry, but just by a little bit, though. Second, I think he's nicer than you. I think he won't shout at me if I made a small mistake. Lastly, I want a tutor that sincerely wants to teach me." Changsub explained to him, a soft smile was playing on his lips.

"Too bad Ilhoon already has three of our classmates in his hands, huh?" He was still pissed. He didn't like being compared to anyone. "Then what about Leo? I'm pretty sure he's nowhere near being a nice guy."

"Oh, I thought he could discipline me well!" Changsub replied while grinning at him. "Maybe he's the answer that I've been looking for. I've been asking for someone who can make me like trigonometry the way you guys do, you see."

He scoffed. "No one's gonna make you like Trigonometry other than yourself." he took out his phone from his pocket and gave it to the older. "Put your number there so I can tell you when will I be freeㅡ why are you smiling like an idiot?"

"You're asking for my number, love? That was quite fast of you." Changsub asked him in a teasing manner, but the older immediately laughed it off when he saw Sungjae glare daggers at him. "Alright, alright. Why are you always so tensed?"

He waited for Changsub to put his number while looking down on him. _Why is this guy so small?_ He could actually see the top of the other's head clearly. Another midget after Ilhoon. He chuckled to himself. He couldn't quite believe that this guy is four years older than him. Changsub always acted like a kid around everyone. Ilhoon once told him that Changsub reminded him of a beagle. Sungjae disagreed immediately. Changsub looked more of like a bulldog to him. Bulldogs are cute, though, not like this one, he thought.

"Here, love."

Sungjae woke up from his thoughts as soon as he heard that voice. He looked down on Changsub again. The older was smiling at him warmly, eyes forming into crescent moons, his face lightened by the sun rays shining through the corridor's window. Sungjae thought Changsub looked so serene, like the flowers from his mother's garden that he always liked to see during the spring.

_Wait, what?_

"Give me that!" he snatched his phone away from Changsub's hold, making the older a little bit surprised. "Make sure you study a lot! I'm a very strict tutor! I only allow my students to have five mistakes per session!"

"Please be gentle with me, love." The other said with a very forced squeaky voice, which made Sungjae's blood boil with irritation.

"You littleㅡ"

"Kidding! See you tomorrow, love! Bye!"

With that being said, Changsub hurriedly ran away from him. Good. Because he wanted to punch someone so bad right now. Why, he didn't know. One thing's for sure, though. He should stay away from sun rays and Lee Changsub from now on.

***

The moment Changsub had known Sungjae's number, he had managed to keep on sending him messages in the morning and before the day ends everyday. It has been five days or so, and Sungjae already gave up on his plan of deleting them everytime those messages arrived. He couldn't block Changsub's number, unfortunately, because he kind of needed it to contact the older when they need to meet for their trigonometry lessons. They already had done one tutoring session, and to say that Sungjae was frustrated is an understatement. He needed to remind the older what to do every fucking time. Changsub just kept on looking out of it, kept on glancing at him with a blank expression, and kept on looking like a lost child.

Well, he kind of expected it to be a very slow learning process considering his student's condition. It was only their first meeting, after all.

His phone buzzed again, indicating that it had received a text message. He didn't need to look at it just to know whom the message came from. Sungjae only had five contact numbers saved on his phoneㅡ his Dad's, his Mom's, his Noona's, Ilhoon's, and Changsub's. His family was working, his noona was studying, Ilhoon was with him. So, yep.

"Lemme read it for you, Sungjae-yah."

Ilhoon snatched his phone away from him. He suddenly wondered why he's friends with the spawn of the devil.

"Good morning, my love! Have a great day ahead! See you later!" his friend tried to sound as cheery as possible, doing his best to sound like Changsub. "Ah, that was the first message this morning, huh? Ain't Changsub hyung the sweetest?"

"Shut up, youㅡ"

"Second message!" Ilhoon cut him quickly. "Hi love, just want to tell you that I will be a little late for our meeting later. My musical team added an additional hour of practice. Sorry. Will make it up to you later!"

"Now will you give me my phone back?" Ilhoon handed him his phone immediately, a teasing smile was playing on his friend's lips. He didn't like it. "Now, what?"

"Nothing, nothing. Why are you always mad? Geez. Anyway, Isn't it nice that he informed you beforehand that he will be late? Imagine if he didn't, and you'll have to wait for him for an hour."

"I won't wait for him." he answered Ilhoon quickly while putting his phone back in his pocket. "I won't wait for him even if he's just late for a minute."

"I know right," Ilhoon agreed to him quickly, "You don't even wait for me to finish eating, you ungrateful brat!"

***

They have agreed to meet in the school library once they're both finished from their own schedules for today. Sungjae did some assisting for Mr. Lee after his class hours, so he actually had something to do while waiting for Changsub. It was already six in the evening when he finished checking papers from Mr. Lee's freshman class. It's almost time for his meeting with Changsub.

"If he's not there when I open the door then he can look for a new tutor tomorrow."

Sungjae went straightaway to the library. He then proceeded to the table on the left corner, the place where he's used to sit if he wanted to study in this place. He had also messaged Changsub to wait for him there after his classes ended. His eyes carefully scanned the room, and Lee Changsub was nowhere to be found. He then irritatingly looked at his wristwatch. It was already 6:03 pm, which means his student was already three minutes late. He was not a fan of waiting, so he decided to leave. It's not his lost, anyway.

He had almost grabbed the doorknob when the door suddenly opened, and he was greeted with a panting and sweaty Changsub. Upon realizing that it was his tutor who was standing before him, the older immediately flashed him a big triumphant smile with his eyes disappearing in the process. Sungjae might have forgotten how to breathe for a while because of that.

"Hey love! I made it!" Changsub said oh so cheerily, but not loud enough for everyone to hear. "I know that you're going to leave me if I arrive late, so I quickly ran right after our practice has ended! I'm glad I arrived just on time!"

He was just kind of staring at the older for a while now. He was taken aback, alright. Was it from Changsub running as fast as he could so he could quickly get here, or from his smiling face when he realized that Sungjae was still there? He didn't know. Why was he even taken aback in the first place? He should be mad at him! That's right.

He cleared his throat quietly and tried to sound as mad and as impatient as possible. "I told you I don't like to be kept waiting. I don't want this to happen again, okay?"

"Yes, love."

Sungjae then went back to their assigned place, with the older in tow, so they could finally start on their lessons right away. He sat accross the table so he could face the older properly. He gave Changsub a serious look as he asked him the ultimate question.

"Did you do the homework I gave you the other day?"

The older man nodded and gave him the paper with a sheepish smile. Sungjae took it and proceeded to quietly check it.

"Please don't get mad if my answers aren't correct." He heard Changsub murmured. "I'm still quite confuse."

He had finished checking his student's paper, and he was a bit surprised, if he must say. He gave the older ten items to solve for his homework, and Changsub managed to get five items correct. He actually expected something lower than that. It was still a bad score if he's being honest, but for Lee Changsub to actually manage to get that much, then this guy might not be a lost cause after all.

"You did quite good," he commented while giving the paper back to the older. "But you should get higher than that from now on. You had five mistakes, which is the only maximum number of mistakes I allow you to have every meeting. To be honest, you actually have managed to exceed my expectations."

There goes the older's triumphant smile again. This time, it clearly wasn't meant for him, but was actually for Changsub himself, the younger thought. Sungjae felt nice too, knowing that he was an effective teacher to his student.

"I didn't sleep just to answer this homework!" Changsub grinned widely at the younger while showing him his paper. "I'm so proud of myself because I got half of the items right! I usually only get two or three items correct, but this timeㅡ"

"Sorry to interrupt your celebration but we are closing the library now."

They both looked at the direction of that voice. Sungjae saw Jackson standing in front of them, looking bored to death as usual. Sungjae's forehead knotted. _Why is the library closing so early?_

"I thought the library is open until 9:00pm?" Changsub politely asked Jackson. "It's only 6:15 pm."

"The faculty decided to clean the whole school, including the library, because there will be visitors, I would say investors though, coming tomorrow." Jackson explained it to them quietly. "So you two should continue your session somewhere else. Now go and get the fuck out of here."

So get out they did even if they haven't started on their lessons yet. Sungjae looked at Changsub. He seemed to be thinking about something, and then he suddenly looked at Sungjae.

"Why don't we continue this to your house?"

"Like, I would like you to go to my house?" he grimaced at the idea. "You're not welcome there, you know?"

"Then what about the park near the school?" the older suggested.

"There's no electricity there, dummy." he paused, and then slowly looked at the older. "Why don't we go to your house instead?"

It's not that he wanted to go to this guy's house. It's just that it's him who doesn't want Changsub to go to his house. He didn't want to let the older know where he lives. Who knows, he might fetch him everyday! Sungjae didn't want that to happen. That would be a nightmare!

"You're not going to my house." Changsub demanded strongly. His eyes were glistening with determination and... fear? Sungjae wasn't sure, but the older's voice was giving him a commandㅡ the kind of one that you cannot disobey. The older seemed to notice his questioning gaze, so he cleared his throat. "W-We can continue this tomorrow if you want while we still search for placesㅡ"

"Fine, fine." Sungjae didn't know what came to him that night. He just wanted this to quickly get over and done with... or was there any other reason? Whatever.

"Let's go to my house, then."

"W-where?"

"You heard me!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why do i write so lengthy? why why why. thank you again for reading!!


	3. CHAPTER THREE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i tried so hard to lessen the words to make this chapter a bit shorter than the other two but... sighs hahaha

Sungjae opened the door to his room and made his way inside, the older quietly following him behind. He then ordered Changsub to sit on the small couch across his room. He couldn't believe that he had just let Lee Changsub enter his room. He must be out of his mind. He curiously glanced at the guy, and he saw Changsub silently scanning his room with a soft smile on his lips.

"You're room looks cozy, love." the older complimented when he finally caught his eyes. "But I thought we will study in the living room."

"I don't study there. Too noisy."

_Meow!_

He looked down when he felt a fluffy thing brushed against his left leg, and it was his cat being her usual clingy self.

"Oh my god!" Changsub squealed in delight while standing up, face lighting up in the process. "You have a cat! It's so pretty! What's his breed?"

"It's a she." He corrected the other while picking up his pet. "She's a snow bengal cat. Her name is Sami. She's the prettiest."

"Hello, Sami!" The older lowered his face so he could see Sami's face clearly. "I'm Lee Changsub. Nice to meet you."

The cat just stared right back at Changsub with a curious gaze, probably trying to recognize the unfamiliar face. The older's warm smile never left his lips. This was so far the closest distance he had been with Changsubㅡ with just a cat separating them. He tried to assess how he's feeling right now. Was he uncomfortable? Surprisingly, nope. Sungjae just didn't want to admit, but Changsub had always gave off that friendly aura, which made him look approachable and dependable.

He didn't like the feeling of the sudden silence enveloping them, so he cleared his throat loudly which made the older looked up at him, a questioning look was evident on his face.

"Yes, love?"

"L-Let's start our lesson, shall we?" Did he just stutter? The hell? He then turned his attention to his cat. "Go and play with Noona, Sami-yah. I'm just gonna teach this dummy over here."

He put down Sami to let her exit his room, and then he turned to Changsub just to see him smiling softly back at him. Sungjae's brows automatically furrowed, but he was not mad, just curious.

"What now?"

"Nothing." The older chuckled and just made his way to Sungjae's study table.

It looked like Changsub was going to say something, but instead he just decided to not tell him anything. It must be something cheesy again. The younger just sighed as he asked the older to get his trigonometry book out, and they quickly began their lesson for tonight.

What Sungjae didn't know was that night was only one of the many nights they're going to spend together in his room.

***

It has been three weeks eversince Sungjae began tutoring Changsub. Sometimes they do it in the library, but most of the time they do it in his house. Their schedules after their classes were getting tighter each passing day. Changsub was working on a new musical while Sungjae was working on a new research together with their school's Chemistry Club members. The only way to continue this tutoring sessions with Changsub was for them to meet even during the weekends. Before, he was used to spending his weekends mostly reading and playing Overwatch. Now, he couldn't believe that he's giving away some of his precious weekend time to Changsub.

At first, he didn't like the idea of spending his _me-days_  with Changsub, but that feeling had changed quite fast. He witnessed how eager the older wanted to overcome his trigonometry weakness. He saw how hard working he really was. Maybe Sungjae was moved by the determination on Changsub's eyes everytime he gave him a set of problems for him to solve. Also, he quite liked the way how the older's brows furrowed everytime he tries to concentrate.

He also had to admit that he was surprised at himself because he doesn't feel irritated around Changsub anymore. Well, if he would consider that one time when the older slept on him because he couldn't answer one problem, and because he thought that Sungjae wasn't looking at him while he's playing with Sami, then that's about the last time he felt that way. He might have had also called the older "Changsub hyung" a few times.

What a progress.

So, it was a fine Saturday afternoon when he heard his mom shout at him to go downstairs because a certain _mochi_ was here.

"Mom and her nicknames."

Sungjae just shrugged it off and took his time to go down. He then saw Changsub standing on their doorway in his black hooded shirt, faded jeans, and old school vans, grinning at him while waving his hands. He waved back lazily and motioned him to go upstairs first. He went to the kitchen and drank a glass of water. He also picked up some chips and cookies in case they might want to munch something while studying.

He quickly went back to his room so they could start right away. He asked for the homework he had given him last week. Anyone could tell that Changsub was nervous. Sungjae remembered how the guy struggled understanding the topic for quite some time. Suddenly, he thought of a very nice idea.

"Was it hard?" he playfully inquired to the older. "Did you not sleep again just to answer all of this?"

"I slept so late just to finish that shit." the older groaned while rubbing his hands on his face. "I almost gave up on them. I almost tore that paper because of my frustration."

Sungjae chuckled. He looked at the older's submitted paper, quickly scanning his answers before he put it down. He then clasped his hands together as he looked at Changsub seriously.

"You see, Changsub hyung, weekends are my favorite part of the week." he started his speech while the older listened to him attentively. "I spend those days just reading something or playing Overwatch. Now, I can't do that anymore because you took away my time for that."

"Sorry," the older was quick to apologize.  
"If you want... I can just come back anotherㅡ"

"Let me finish first, okay?" he immediately stopped Changsub's words. It was not going the way he wanted it to go. The older simply nodded, so he continued what he was saying. "I thought I can still play Overwatch while I teach you trigonometry. Your homework over here, will be the determiner. If you have a passing score, then we can play Overwatch after I teach you our lesson for today, but if you don't... then sucks for me. We won't play for today."

He saw Changsub's eyes twinkled with joy and excitement. Who wouldn't be happy when you get to play Overwatch after a session of studying? Sungjae would feel that way, too. That was actually what he rewarded himself after he completed a task that he was assigned to do, but the joy and excitement were quickly replaced by nervousness, which quickly turned into sadness.

"Ah, seems like I won't be able to play Overwatch with you, love." Changsub said with a sad smile. "I'll work harder next time."

"I thought I taught you well last week? You don't believe in yourself? Come on, hyung." he challenged the older. "I haven't even started checking it."

"You did great last week!" Changsub even managed to console him. "I just really had a hard time graphing those tangent functions and all."

"Let's see if your hardwork will pay off, then." He smirked at the older while flipping the paper upfront. "Remember, I only allow five mistakes."

He just heard the older groaned and saw him covering his face with his hands. If he was embarassed or praying, Sungjae didn't know. Sungjae quietly took his time checking the paper which was a fifteen-item homework. Changsub would need to score atleast ten and above for them to play Overwatch. Sungjae's grin was getting wider and wider with each correct answers. He was feeling ecstatic. He felt like he was on a mission.

He had finally reached the last item, and he sighed when he realized that Changsub's answer was wrong. He quietly put down his pen and folded the paper gently. He then looked at Changsub who still hadn't move from his position a while ago.

"I'm done checking it, hyung." he informed the older, voice laced with seriousness, then he cleared his throat. "How did you even managed to still get a score like this? I actually had my hopes up, you know? I guess we still need to work a lot regarding this topic. It's okay, we can still play next time."

"I'm such a failure." Changsub had put his hands down, his face was so red it resembled a tomato. His eyes were also red. Was he trying to stop himself from crying? He then heard the older sniffed. "I'm really hopeless. Maybe you're right, Sungjae-yah, that I'm really a lost cause. Maybe they're right about me. Maybe I'm really an idiot. I'm sorryㅡ"

He... didn't expect that.

"Y-yah, Lee Changsub," Sungjae was panicking. _Fuck._  The older's eyes were brimming with tears now. It's just that those tears didn't have the time to fall because Changsub was quick to wipe it away with his sleeves. His voice was shaking and so were his hands. He was looking everywhere but him. Sungjae felt something heavy on his chest. "W-why are you crying? Shit. Hyung, calm down."

"Sorry." The older mumbled as he wiped his tears aggressively. "Should we stop this tutoring lessons now? I don't think I'm beingㅡ"

"Lee Changsub, look at me." Sungjae demanded. He fucked up big time, and he needed to sort this out immediately. When Changsub was finally looking at him properly, he quickly continued. "I... I was just joking about you failing. You actually scored higher than I expected. Please stop crying... I was just trying to play a prank on you. I'm s-sorry please stop crying."

Sungjae felt his insides churned when Changsub just continued staring at him with that lost expression on his face. He quickly handed him his paper, and pointed the score on the upper right corner of it.

"Look, you actually got 12/15!" the younger tried to happily inform the older, hoping to pacify him as well. "You only got three mistakes! You did very well, hyung!"

If this still didn't turn out right, Sungjae didn't know what to do anymore. The way Changsub cried while saying those words made his chest feel heavy. He thought that he might actually triggered something in the older. Sungjae will never play a prank like that ever again. He watched as Changsub inspects the written score above, brows furrowing in disbelief. He had finally stopped crying, thank god.

"D-did I really get 12?" Sungjae nodded enthusiastically. Changsub couldn't believe it himself. He looked at the younger as a triumphant smile was slowly appearing on his tear-stained face. "W-wow. Does that mean we can play Overwatch later?"

"Of course, we can." Sungjae sighed in total relief. The heavy thing on his chest had been lifted, and was now replaced by something light and feathery. He liked this feeling so much more. "Or if you want, we can play now. We can continue our lesson tomorrow."

"Why?" Changsub wondered. "I already bought five graphing papers, you know!"

"Just because." Sungjae dismissed the older quickly. "I want to play now. Come on!"

Sungjae stood up and grabbed the older's arm. He then made him sit on his bed. He gave him one of the controllers as he proceeded to set up his tv as their monitor for the game. He heard Changsub suddenly talking to Sami in an excited tone.

"Hey, Sami-yah, we're gonna play Overwatch! Watch me beat your Master's ass! I'm the best in this game if you didn't know. People don't call me SubSubSub Master for nothing."

Sungjae chuckled to himself as he listened to what the older was saying to Sami. Suddenly, he realized that this actually felt nice.

_Let's see who's gonna beat who's ass._

***

Sungjae went down the kitchen to quickly get them sodas as they got thirsty from shouting too much. He was laughing to himself while he opened the fridge because Lee Changsub's boasting ass was defeated by him for who knows how many times already. _SubSubSub Master, my feet!_ The older wasn't even that hard to deal with. He felt like he was playing with a beginner, to be honest. He also enjoyed the feeling when Changsub would shout _noooooo!_ dramatically everytime he was defeated by him.

He had never thought that he would enjoy playing Overwatch this much.

"Sungjae-yah," he heard his mom call him from the living room. "Why don't you tell Changsub to stay for dinner later? I'll cook your favorite spaghetti if you want."

"Uhm, I..."

He contemplated for a while. Was it okay for Changsub to stay for dinner? He assessed himself. Was it uncomfortable if the older will stay a little bit longer? The answer was definitely a no. Wasn't inviting your guest to eat dinner in your house the normal and polite thing to do if they stayed a little later than 6:00 pm? Of course, yes. So all in all, he felt fine about Changsub staying for dinner later.

"Sure, mom." He smiled to his mom, and then took the flight upstairs . When he went inside his room, he saw Changsub playing with Sami. They have gotten so much closer, he reckoned. Sungjae actually had thought that maybe Sami considered Changsub as a playmate now.

"Hyung, mom wants you to stay for dinner." He told the older nonchalantly while gently placing the sodas on his bedside table. "She said she'll cook us spaghetti."

Changsub suddenly stopped playing with Sami and looked at him, worry pooling in his eyes. "Are you... okay with that?"

"With what?" he wondered. "Don't worry, my mom's spaghetti is the best."

"That's not it," Changsub chuckled nervously. "I'm actually talking about me staying for dinner. You're really okay with that?"

It was a fine Saturday afternoon, as he had thought earlier. He didn't know why he's feeling good today. Sungjae looked into Changsub's eyes, finding it filled with worry and something he couldn't quite recognize. He realized he didn't like that look in the older's eyes, or maybe he was just used to seeing those moon-like crescents filled with warmth and excitement.

"Yeah, It's fine." he tried to sound casual, like Changsub staying for dinner wasn't a big deal, which really isn't. "You don't want to? You don't like spaghetti?"

"I... I w-would love to stay, of course." The older's smile was back, but this time, he was purposely looking away from Sungjae. His cheeks were also tinted with a slight pinkish color. "And I love spaghetti..."

Lee Changsub's blushing face... was quite a sight.

"Yah, do you want me to beat your ass again?" he challenged the older, ignoring the things his head kept on noticing from the older.

"You wish!" Changsub seemed to get back to reality as he saw fire burning back in his eyes. "You will never defeat me again, Yook Sungjae!"

"Oh, really, SubSubSub Master?"

Sungjae thought that maybe, he liked weekends even more now.


	4. CHAPTER FOUR

They both have free time after their classes. Both have no individual club activites, so they decided to go to the library to discuss their trigonometry lessons. Changsub said he has something to give to him first before they start their lesson. He kept on digging something inside his bag which made Sungjae curious.

"Why are you taking so long?" he playfully whined to the older. "Is that more important than Pythagorean Identities?"  
  
"Will you wait!" Changsub snapped at him. "It went all the way down! I can't reach for it, argh! And why do I have a yoga mat and skipping ropes here, the fuck?"  
  
Sungjae was definitely enjoying the scene. He was having fun as he watched Changsub being impatient and frustrated while spouting curses here and there. Good thing they were seated on the far most corner of the room, or the librarian might completely throw them away out of this place. A couple of minutes had passed when the older finally pulled out a small blue bag, which he quickly offered to him.

Sungjae gave the item a suspicious look. "What's that?"  
  
"Don't worry, this is not from me." Changsub quickly clarified, knowing that he had always rejected anything the older had tried to offer him. "This is absolutely safe from the Changsub virus."  
  
"What Changsub virus are you talking about?" Sungjae didn't like what he had just heard. He didn't like the way how Changsub had said it so naturally. "Give me that!"  
  
The older gently handed him the blue bag. He curiously peeked what was on the inside, and he saw two pieces of doshirak (korean lunch box) placed there neatly. He then gave Changsub a questioning look. The older gave him a soft smile in return as he cleaned the mess he made just now.  
  
"I told mom that I had dinner in your house the other day, so she insisted to make something for you in return. She wanted me to thank you for accomodating me, and for diligently teaching me." then the older gave him a reassuring smile. "Those are just simple dishes. Don't worry, my mom is an amazing cook! Ah, she also said that this won't be the last time, so expect me to bring you doshirak everyday."  
  
Sungjae suddenly didn't know how to speak. He felt something warm spread inside him, enveloping his heart. No one has ever gave him a doshirak before. Actually, no one has appreciated his hardwork like this before. He was so touched he couldn't say anything. He watched as Changsub's smile got bigger and bigger.  
  
"You're touched, aren't you! Someone is touched! I wonder who he is!" the older obviously enjoyed teasing him. "You can eat that now if you want. My mom's dumplings are the best! You should try it, go on."  
  
He suddenly was such in a good mood at that moment.  
  
"Eat with me." he offered Changsub as he pulled out the food containers, and then gently placing them on their table. "Let's eat first before we study."  
  
"I-I'm... Yah! That's yours." The older was taken aback. He also noticed that Changsub's face was turning red. "Why are you asking me to eat with you?"  
  
"You're touched, aren't you! Someone is touched! I wonder who he is!" He tried to copy the older's line and tone a while ago, and then he laughed his heart out when he saw how Changsub's face got redder than before.  
  
"KEEP QUIET!"  
  
He jolted on his seat when he heard the librarian's loud voice boomed inside the whole library. She was certainly pertaining to him, because who else had been laughing like a wild hyena here other than him? He turned to look at Changsub just to see him laughing back at him, but without any actual sound, while clutching his stomach and pointing a finger at him. The older's face was turning slightly blue, probably bacause he couldn't breathe properly from laughing too much. He wanted to laugh out loud again because Changsub looked like he would die any minute now. He realized that they probably looked like total idiots right now.  
  
"Quit laughing already!" he begged the older as he tried to wipe the tears in his eyes. "Let's just eat! The food is getting cold!"  
  
"Okay, okay!" The older tried to go back to normal as quickly as he could. It actually took Changsub a couple of minutes to recover from their mess. "Are we allowed to eat in the library, though?"  
  
"Don't know." he started digging on the dumplings. It tasted heavenly. "Let's just eat as fast as possible. Tell your mom I said thank you."  
  
"Sure, love."

Changsub smiled at him with his mouth full of fried rice. _Cute_. Sungjae thought that he was actually starting to get used to all of these.

***

"Why is Mrs.Kim looking for us again?"  
  
Sungjae couldn't contain his irritation because he was supposed to be having lunch with Ilhoon now, but their professor wanted them to go up to her office for a while. He really was so hungry. He didn't get the chance to eat breakfast this morning because he was already running late, and a hungry Sungjae was a very grumpy Sungjae. Good thing was Changsub gave him his lunch box, made by the older's mom of course, when they saw each other in the hallways this morning. What a life saver.  
  
"No idea," Ilhoon just shrugged his shoulders off while putting his hands in his pockets. "Stop being grumpy, Yook Sungjae."  
  
He ignored Ilhoon as they entered Mrs. Kim's office. They were greeted with her sweet smile as she ordered them to sit on the chairs across her table, which they politely did.  
  
"Sorry to interrupt your lunch time, boys,  
but I really have something important to tell you right now." the teacher started as she clasped her hands together while looking at them seriously. "As you can see, our school has been qualified to join the International Mathematical Olympiad this year. It'll be held in Beijing for two days. I called you here to let you know that the two of you are going to be our school's representatives again, along with four other students from different years."  
  
Sungjae and Ilhoon excitedly high-fived. They were waiting for this moment to arrive eversince the beginning of the school year. They will go to Beijing! This would be a great experience specially for Sungjae because it would be his first time to go to there. If he remembered correctly, Ilhoon had already joined and won a competition that was held there. He was nervous, but the excitement was overpowering it. It has been months since he had join any competitions, so his adrenaline was way over the roof at the moment.

"When will this be held, Mrs. Kim?" Ilhoon asked with a toothy grin, excitement was envident on his face.  
  
"Oh, now that's the tough part." Mrs. Kim had a slight worry in her tone. "It'll be held two weeks from now. It's very urgent, I know, that's why I informed the two of you as early as possible."  
  
He didn't know about Ilhoon, but Sungjae suddenly couldn't think of anything as of the moment. Two weeks from now? That would be such a short time for training and preparation. Eventhough the school treated them as Math Gods, he still believed that two weeks weren't enough. How would he even squeezed that in his busy schedule? He was preparing for a role for Drama Club, even if it was just a minor one, but still. He also has an on going research with his Chemistry Club. He still has trainings in Taekwondo Club every Tuesdays and Thursdays, and of course, he has tutoring lessons with Changsub every weekends. His weekends would surely be the most affected.  
  
His weekends with Changsub...  
  
"Sungjae-ssi, are you still listening?"  
  
Sungjae felt Ilhoon nudge his shoulder. He didn't notice that he was spacing out. He let out a stupid _what?_ after looking at Mrs. Kim like a lost kid.  
  
"As I was saying, the school has permitted the two of you to be excused from all of your classes starting tomorrow. We will use that time to prepare and train you." explained by their professor. "We will also have trainings after class. Don't worry about your club activities. We already excused the two of you for two weeks. I hope you understand that eventhough this competition is rushed, it still is a competition for us to win, okay? Let's do our best, shall we? We have faith in the two of you."

***

Sungjae grabbed Changsub's arm as soon as their Trigonometry class had ended. They walked outside their classroom to talk privately. He had been thinking how the hell should he manage his tutoring sessions with Changsub now that his IMO training would eat up his weekends, too.  
  
"Hey, what's with the rush?" Changsub worriedly asked him as soon as they've settled themselves on the semi empty hallway. "Did something happen? Do you need my help?"  
  
"Ah, yeah. Something did happen." Sungjae started, his hand brushing the back of his neck. "You see, Ilhoon and I are going to be our school's representatives in the IMO."  
  
"Wow, that's good news! Congratulations, love!" The older congratulated him while clapping his hands vigorously with a proud smile on his face, but that smile was quickly replaced by a confused frown. "But, what is IMO, though?"  
  
"You're here congratulating me and yet you don't know what is IMO, you dummy." He chuckled at this guy's silliness. "IMO means International Mathematical Olympiad. It's a competition that's going to be held in Beijingㅡ"  
  
"What! Beijing as in Beijing, China?!"  
  
Sungjae laughed aloud because Changsub was making a funny face. His eyes grew bigger and his mouth was hanging open. He looked absolutely shocked, if Sungjae might say so.  
  
"Yes, Beijing as in Beijing, China. Please close your mouth now. You look funny." he smiled as the older quickly shuts his mouth. He then cleared his throat to aim for a more serious tone. "The only bad news here is that it's going to be held exactly two weeks from now."  
  
"What, that fast?"  
  
"Yeah. My schedule is really packed now, hyung. Ilhoon and I won't be going to class anymore starting tomorrow. The whole math faculty is going to train us hard." He sighed, already feeling tired eventhough they haven't started anything yet. "They're rushing everything now. We even have trainings after class, and on the coming weekends too!"  
  
"Okay..." He waited patiently while Changsub slowly process what he had just told him. The older seemed to look even more confused and lost. "What does all of these got to do with me, though? I don't think I can help you with anything."  
  
Sungjae tried so hard to stop the urge to squeeze Changsub's pouty face. He was seriously having a mental breakdown right now, so to help himself gain back his focus, he just flicked his fingers on the older's forehead, not hard enough to hurt the other, of course.  
  
"Dummy. I'm telling you all of this because I need to know your schedule on the weekends for me to arrange our trigonometry lessons properly." he clarified while looking at the older straight in the eyes. "I don't mind squeezing our sessionㅡ"  
  
"Yah, hold on." Changsub interrupted him, hands up in the air to completely stop him from speaking. "Are you seriously planning to still go on with our trigonometry lessons with that crazy schedule of yours? Come on, love. You might not be able to handle all of the incoming stress from your IMO training, yet you still want to meet with me? You want more stress, huh? I am thankful for all of the things you've done for me, really, but I think you should focus on the competition for now, love. You should rest after your training, not give yourself another headache."

Sungjae was suddenly speechless, then a thought suddenly hit him. Since when was he so willing to spend time with Changsub like this? He was even worried about the fact that his weekends with the older will be affected by his training. He was totally so willing to adjust his schedule for the said man even if he might not get enough rest. What did Changsub do to him for him to consider doing things like these?  
  
He got scared of the overwhelming feelings that flooded his body all of a sudden. He was afraid to know the answers to all of his questions. He didn't want to face them right now.  
  
"Y-you're right." he let out his breath he didn't even knew he was holding while he tried to avoid looking at Changsub's eyes. "I should focus on IMO first. I don't need any more distractions."  
  
"That's right!" Changsub quickly agreed with him and even patted him on the shoulder. "Don't worry, I will also try my best to not be a distraction to you. Hang in there, love. It'll just be for two weeks, anyway."  
  
When Changsub said that, Sungjae thought that it will not be something the older would take seriously, but it has been five days since the younger had a proper conversation with Changsub.

The daily good morning and good night text messages were gone. Whenever they walked pass each other on the hallways or cafeteria, the older would just slightly bow his head in his direction, and then he would just continue walking as if he wasn't there. His daily supply of doshirak was also gone. The worst part of it all was that Changsub hadn't smiled at him, not even once!

The older said that he will do that to not become a distraction for Sungjae, but to hell with distractions! He was already badly distracted anyway. He felt like his days weren't complete or something.  
  
"He really thinks he's helping, huh. I will make him pay for this I swear to god!"  
  
Sungjae buried his head on the pile of paper in front him, frustration eating him alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really want sungjae to be frustrated hahahaha


	5. CHAPTER FIVE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please welcome eunkwang and hyunsik!

"You can have your lunch now, boys. Come back after an hour, okay?"  
  
Sungjae and Ilhoon, together with the other four IMO representatives, hurriedly made their way out of the classroom. They've been studying since 8:00 am and honestly speaking, nobody wanted to go back in that room anymore. Everyone was just so tensed because they only have a week left before the competition.  
  
In Sungjae's case, he just wanted to rest, lay down on his bed, and sleep. He's been in a sour mood since yesterday. Well, who wouldn't be? He had crossed paths with Changsub in the cafeteria yesterday. They were seriously going to talk for real, Sungjae had felt it. The older was waving his hands to him while giving him a timid smile (still not the smile that he wanted to receive, but he survived). Sungjae excitedly ran his way to greet Changsub, but when they were about to meet, someone grabbed the older by the shoulders, made him turn his back on Sungjae, then dragged him out of the cafeteria. Changsub didn't even had the chance to look back at him. He remembered cursing so loud that everyone around him turned to look at his direction and gave him weird looks.  
  
_He was about to approach me. We were finally going to talk. But what the fuck did just happen?_  
  
Up until now, Sungjae's mood had never changed. He then felt Ilhoon tap his shoulder. He let out an irritated _What!_ as a reply.  
  
"Chill, dude. I was just going to give you back your pen." Ilhoon just shook his head while looking at him in disbelief. "Don't tell me you're still mad at Eunkwang hyung?"  
  
"Who's Eunkwang?" he nonchalantly asked. He wasn't interested in knowing who's who at all now.  
  
"You don't remember the one who snatched Changsub hyung away from you yesterday? He's Eunkwang hyung." he just ignored Ilhoon's teasing voice because he can.  
  
"And why do you know him?" he gave Ilhoon an accusing look. "How did you know him?"  
  
"He's Changsub hyung's classmate and best friend, together with Hyunsik hyung." his friend explained to him in a bored voice. "The three of them are always casted in musicals. People call them The Three Muskeeters or something. I think that's so lame, but whatever."  
  
"How did you even know all of these things?" they had entered the cafeteria, and his eyes immediately tried to find a certain someone. "Don't tell me you're also friends with them?"  
  
"Kind of." Ilhoon just shrugged it off. "Anyway, what do you want to eat? I'll order for us."  
  
Sungjae didn't really have an appetite, but he told Ilhoon to just buy him anything. He instantly found an empty table beside the cafeteria's exit. He told his friend to go and look for him there after he's finished ordering. He looked for any signs of Lee Changsub, but to no avail. Maybe he's with his friends? Sungjae's frown got deeper. Why did that Eunkwang guy do that yesterday? Was there a problem if Changsub talk to him just for a bit? That guy was literally dragging the older away from him. From now on, he officially hated that guy.  
  
Was he being petty? Yes, he was. Why? Because he can.  
  
"You seriously need to relax, Sungjae-yah." Ilhoon was back with their lunch. "Stop glaring daggers at those freshmen. They didn't do anything to you."  
  
"So how did you meet those friends of Changsub hyung?" he took a bite of his burger. "Why did you meet them behind my back?"  
  
"What are you talking about?" Ilhoon gave him a sigh. "Changsub hyung invited me to watch his Musical just recently. I didn't have anything to do, so I went and watched. Changsub's singing voice is seriously the best, by the way. After the play, I went to him and congratulate him, then there he introduced me to Eunkwang and Hyunsik. They're really nice people, Sungjae-yah. Fun to be with, too."  
  
"Why did Changsub hyung invited you and not me?" Sungjae felt betrayed. "So, no one's including me at anything anymore now, huh."  
  
"Bitch, want me remind you how you rejected every single musical invitation from Changsub since 1982?" Ilhoon desperately rolled his eyes at him. He looked like he wanted to punch him or something. "And now you're whining to me on how he didn't invite you? Serves you right, you fucker."  
  
"H-hey, that's below the belt!"  
  
"Still what you deserved, to be honest."  
  
He thought so, too. He was such a jerk.  
  
"Ilhoon-ah!" he put his burger down and exasperatedly pulled his hair. "I don't know what to do anymore."  
  
"You need to finish your food. That's what you need to do."  
  
"I want to see Changsub hyung." He murmured, his frustrations were already overflowing. He felt like he would explode any minute now. "I badly want to see him, Ilhoon."  
  
"Why?" Ilhoon looked at him like he was talking to a kid. "You already saw him yesterday."  
  
"T-that... was not enough." He was also surprised on how desperate he sounded right now. "I don't know... I just need toㅡ Ilhoon please."  
  
"Why are you begging me? I'm not Changsub hyung." Ilhoon tapped his fingers on the table, probably thinking about something. "You know what, Yook Sungjae? I like watching you lose yourself a little bit more because it's fun, but you're starting to irritate me so... Listen, I have a plan."  
  
"What plan?"

***

After going back to their classroom to get Ilhoon's trigonometry notes, Sungjae quickly went down to go to Changsub's classroom on the other side of their school building. He still had thirty minutes until their lunch time was over. He hoped he can talk to the older that long.

They were not in the cafeteria, they were also not on the school grounds, so maybe they were still in their classroom. He prayed that he can catch Changsub there because he honestly didn't know where else to look for him anymore.

He glanced at his friend's trigonometry notes in his hand and scoffed bitterly. Ilhoon told him that the older asked his friend if he could borrow his notes yesterday. He thought that Changsub would want to learn some topics on his own for now that their session was on a temporary halt. _He could've borrow mine, though._ He was his tutor, so he should be the one to provide things like that to his student, but Changsub was so persistent on not being a distraction to him that even borrowing notes was a no no for him.

He was so lost on his own thoughts that he didn't even notice he was now in front of Changsub's classroom. He suddenly felt nervous. He realized that he was the one who's looking for Changsub now. Oh, how the tables have turned! He inhaled a deep breath and quietly took a peek on the door, eyes scanning where Changsub was located.  
  
His brows furrowed in an instant as soon as he spotted Lee Changsub. The said guy was back hugging someone while rubbing his face on that someone's arm. Sungjae wanted to barge in and get the older away from that guy, but then he suddenly heard Changsub's voice.  
  
"Come on, Hyunsik-ah... please buy me lunch, hmm? I'm so hungry I'm gonna die!"  
  
"Hyung, will you please act normal." Hyunsik was playfully removing Changsub's hold on him, but the older just hugged him tighter. "Changsub hyung, I can't breathe. Let me go!"  
  
"Noooooo!" Changsub's whining voice sounded so cute it was making Sungjae mad. "Buy me food first."  
  
"I already called Eunkwang hyung, and he said he'll bring us lunch." He saw Hyunsik looked at his phone with one hand while the other one was busy tapping Changsub's hands around his waist. "Oh look, he said he's on his way back. He's bringing us kimbap!"  
  
Changsub smiled at Hyunsik with the smile that Sungjae has been craving for so long nowㅡ the smile where Changsub's eyes would turn into beautiful crescent moons. He was so busy glaring at the scene in front of him he didn't actually realized that someone was already standing beside him while looking at him in disbelief. He jolted in his place when the said guy put his arm around his shoulder (which he barely even reached) and pulled him out of his hiding place. He turned to look who this midget was, and he quickly recognized him as the cafeteria guy who dragged Changsub away from himㅡ Eunkwang.  
  
"Yah, Changsub-ah!" Eunkwang shouted from the door. "Someone's looking for you here!"  
  
Eunkwang made Sungjae stepped inside their room while still trying to put his arms around him eventhough he was clearly having a hard time. Some of their classmates were already glancing at them, specially at him. He suddenly felt embarrassed. He turned to look at Changsub, and Sungjae swear his heart went on an utter chaos when he met the older's surprised gaze.

He really liked those pair of eyes, whatever their expressions were. They were still looking at each for quite some time now when Eunkwang decided to finally speak.  
  
"Aren't you going to talk to him, Changsub-ah? I saw him standing by the door for so long I thought he's a statue or something!"  
  
"S-since when did you see me standing there?" he asked as he looked down on Eunkwang.

 _Why is this guy so small, too? He's even smaller than Changsub._  
  
"Since you started cursing under your breath."  
  
"When did I do that?"  
  
"Since you sawㅡ"  
  
"Yah, Yook Sungjae! What are you doing here?!"  
  
Sungjae didn't know he could whip his head as fast as he did when he heard Changsub muttered those words. The older's eyes were wide with surprise and confusion, his mouth was slightly hanging open, too. After a couple of seconds, he saw the older removed his hands around Hyunsik, like finally, and then he slowly walked towards them.  
  
"Changsub-ah, our class will resume in 20 minutes." That Eunkwang guy gave Changsub a meaningful look. "We also have practice later, okay?"  
  
"Yeah, yeah." Changsub turned his head to Hyunsik. "You! Don't eat my kimbap, or else!"  
  
"I'll think about it." Hyunsik playfully teased the older. He briefly gave Sungjae a serious glance, and then he smiled back at Changsub. "Hyung, you owe me $5."  
  
"Aish."  
  
Sungjae felt his arm being grabbed, and then the next thing he knew, he was on the hallways again but this time, with Changsub.  
  
"Yah, Yook Sungjae." He woke up from his thoughts when he heard Changsub say his name while frantically waving his hand in front of his face. "I think you went to the wrong classroom. Who are you looking for, really? I can help you. I know everyone in this building."  
  
"What? I came here for you." Sungjae's starting to get pissed, and he didn't know why. "Who else should I be looking for here?"  
  
"I don't know." Changsub was giving him a skeptical look. "Were you really... looking for me?"  
  
"I already told you," he's also starting to get frustrated. "I came here for you."  
  
"Fuck, I really owe Hyunsik $5."  
  
At the sudden mention of that name, Sungjae couldn't help but have flashbacks of what he had witnessed a while agoㅡ Changsub back hugging Hyunsik while rubbing his face on his arm. He really didn't like what he saw. He somehow felt like a monster was within him, trying to break free and cause damage to that guy. Sungjae felt so helpless it was making him mad. He came here to find and talk to Changsub only to see him being sweet to another guy.  
  
_But that's his friend!_  
  
_AND I AM HISㅡ_  
  
_What?_  
  
"I came here to give you this!" he kind of shoved Ilhoon's trigonometry notes in front of Changsub's chest too forcefully, making the older toppled backwards, which he regretted immediately. "I'm s-sorry hyung! Are you okay?"  
  
"Yeah yeah. Why are you so angry? Geez." The older took a look at the papers, and his brows furrowed in confusion. "Are these Ilhoon's note that I tried to borrow yesterday?"  
  
"Yes, but you should've borrowed mine. I'll be more than willing to give it to you."  
  
"Thank you, Yook Sungjae." Changsub gave him a forced-looking smile. "I know you're getting really busy these days because of your IMO training, so I purposely didn't ask for your notes. I don't wanna bother you. You should concentrate."  
  
"Ilhoon is being busy with me too, but you didn't think that you're bothering him?" Was Sungjae pouting? Oh god, he really was pouting. "You can bother me, too, you know."  
  
"What's wrong with you?" Changsub laughed at him while hitting his arm softly, disbelief was evident in his tone. "You want me to bother you? That's new! Coming from the great Yook Sungjae!"  
  
"Because I'm really getting annoyed with you right now." He looked down on the older guy while crossing his arms on his chest. "You think you're helping me, but you're wrong."  
  
"This is the best help I can offer you," Changsub took a couple of steps away from him. "So, you have no choice but to accept it, okay? Seriously, Yook Sungjaeㅡ"  
  
He felt something in him snapped.  
  
"Why are you calling me Yook Sungjae!"  
  
"What, isn't that your name?" Changsub's confusion has never been this intense. "What do you want me to call you aside from you're name? You're not making any sense right now, Sungjae-yah."  
  
Sungjae immediately agreed. He knew he was being undeniably petty at the moment, but he just couldn't help it! Nothing was going on his way. Changsub wasn't being all over him, wasn't smiling at him, wasn't going near him, and wasn't even calling him the way he was used to! Everything was suddenly so foreign to him he didn't know what to do. It completely annoyed the hell out of him.  
  
He took a step forward Changsub, but the older took a step back. Sungjae sighed in defeat. This wasn't working at all.  
  
"Why are you walking away from me?" he asked the older glumly. "You can hug every people out there, but you can't even look at me properly when we see each other outside."  
  
"What is this? A-are you sulking, Yook Sungjae?" Changsub couldn't believe his eyes. He couldn't even say anything else.  
  
"Maybe I am! Maybe I'm not! I don't know!" Sungjae couldn't help it as his emotions officially took over his entire system. "I just want to be near you, but you're distancing yourself away! Who even told you that you're being a distraction to me?"  
  
"Uhm, you?"  
  
"I didn't!" he took a deep breath to calm himself. This was seriously getting out of hand. "Hyung, stop this okay. Just... be yourself again. Please."  
  
He didn't know how to explain to Changsub what he really wanted anymore. He was just not really good with words eversince. He just hoped that maybe, the older would see right through him.  
  
"O-okay..." and then he finallly saw that blush on Changsub's cheek again. He made the older blush! Sungjae's heart was filled with those light and feathery feelings again. He then saw Changsub softly smiled at him. "I think I get what you mean."  
  
"Good." he gently ruffled the older's hair. _So soft_. "Let's have lunch together tomorrow, okay?"  
  
"You're acting really weird, but okay."  
  
Except that their supposedly lunch together didn't happen, because Changsub didn't come to school that day, and the other day, and then the day after that. Sungjae kept on messaging and calling him, but his phone had been turned off. Their competition was fast approaching, and he couldn't concentrate properly.

One day, he decided to ask Eunkwang and Hyunsik about Changsub's whereabouts, but they just gave him a weak smile and a pat on the shoulder.  
  
"He's okay. There was just a problem that came up. He'll get in touch soon." consoled Eunkwang.  
  
"You don't have to worry, Sungjae-ssi. Changsub hyung is okay." Hyunsik added.  
  
He just hoped so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sungjae snapped lol


	6. CHAPTER SIX

"Here's to our two weeks worth of sleepless nights!"  
  
"Cheers!"  
  
Sungjae, and the rest of their IMO squad, were now at Ilhoon's place celebrating their recent achievement in the International Mathematical Olympiad held in Beijing yesterday. Ilhoon got the highest score out of all the participants, so he won the gold medal. Sungjae got silver, while the rest of their team got honorable mentions. It was such a big achievement for their school because both of the top two students came from them. Their school held a celebration party in their hotel room right after the competition had ended. Ilhoon and the rest of the team, on the other hand, wanted a celebration of their ownㅡ with alcohol, of course. What did we expect from these teens, anyway. The school wouldn't permit for sure, that's why they're here. They were still supervised by Ilhoon's parents, by the way, in case the situation gets a little messy.  
  
Sungjae checked his phone for the hundredth time that day, and still no message from Changsub. He didn't even get a "good luck" from him yesterday which made him totally down. It's been a week since Changsub was missing in action. Sungjae didn't have any idea what happened to the man. He was so worried, but he just held on to what Eunkwang and Hyunsik told himㅡ that Changsub was okay, and he'll get in touch soon.  
  
_It's been a week. Where are you, dummy?_  
  
He really couldn't get the celebratory feels he was supposed to be feeling right now. His mind was on something else, or someone, rather. Sungjae took a shot of soju that Ilhoon gave him. He decided he might as well get wasted tonight.  
  
"Dude, he'll call you." Ilhoon reassuringly smiled at him while patting his shoulder. "You'll be the first one he's gonna contact. Trust me."  
  
"I just want to know if he's okay." he drank another shot, feeling the hot liquid slide down his throat as it gave him a weird sensation. "Damn, I didn't even imagine myself being this desperate just for a single message."  
  
"Me too, man." Ilhoon quickly agreed. "I didn't think you'll get so worked up on someone you swear to hate for the rest of your life."  
  
Ilhoon laughed. Sungjae didn't. He took another couple of shots before shaking his head in disbelief.  
  
"After being with that dummy for how many weeks, I realized that there's really nothing you can hate about him." he looked at his hands because he couldn't look at Ilhoon. He's afraid that the other might see the foreign emotions in his eyes. "I gave him rejections and curses, yet he paid me back with his smiles and kindness."  
  
"That was deep." Ilhoon got serious as he looked at him. "I think you're in too deep, too, Sungjae-yah. Be honest with me. What do you really feel about him?"  
  
His heart hammered inside his chest. A strong wave of emotions suddenly arose in him which only a certain someone could do. He was afraid of them before, but now he kind of got used to it. There's no point in repressing them anymore because they just keep on creeping up, but he was still unsure of himself, to be honest. He was still scared to give this feeling a name.  
  
"I don't know. I'm not sure." he heaved a deep sigh, and then he took another shot. He felt his head spin a little. "But right now, all I want is to hear his voice, or maybe even just a text from him will do."  
  
"You'll know what you really feel, eventually." Ilhoon smiled as he got up. "Wait for me here. I'll just go and get some more drinks."  
  
Sungjae nodded. He looked at his team mates who were happily chatting and drinking. He wished he could feel the same, but he just really couldn't, so he emptied the remaining liquor in his bottle in one go. Sungjae felt his throat burn, and he kind of liked it. He reached for another bottle and began drinking again. His head was spinning so bad now, but he knew he could still manage. He once again checked his phone, wishing a certain name would pop up, but to no avail. He put his phone down on the table and continued drinking.

Soju tasted so bad, his mood was worse, and this was his way of dealing with it.

***

Changsub opened his phone after he finally got it back on his hands. Several messages were coming in now. Some where from Eunkwang and Hyunsik, but most of it were from Sungjae. Changsub chuckled quietly, not wanting to wake up his sleeping mom. Lately, Sungjae had been acting a bit weird towards him, not weird in a bad way, of course. He had been quite kinder to him. A little bit friendlier too, if he would say, but he still wasn't sure. He still thought that Sungjae was only treating him this way out of pity because he sucked at math. Maybe he found him funny too? Sungjae laughed a lot lately when he was with him, and he really liked it when Sungjae laughs.

If someone told him before that Sungjae will invite him to his house to play Overwatch after they study, Changsub might've punched that someone square in the face. He wouldn't believe such a blatant lie. Luckily, all of those had already happened, and yet he was still unable to believe that those moments were real.  
  
He was taken out of his reverie when his phone suddenly rang. He saw an unfamiliar number. _Who the hell is calling me in the middle of the night?_ Nevertheless, he still answered the call.  
  
"Hello? Who's thiㅡ"  
  
"Changsub hyung? Changsub hyung! Finally, you answered!"  
  
He quickly took a look at the number once again because he couldn't recognize the caller's voice at all.  
  
"I'm sorry, but who are you?"  
  
"Changsub hyung! This is Ilhoon!"  
  
"Jung Ilhoon?" His brows knotted. "Why are you calling me so late?"  
  
"Sorry if I disturbed your sleep but," the guy on the other line laughed nervously. "I would like to ask you a favor."  
  
"What favor?" he was starting to think that this was a scam because why would _the_ Jung Ilhoon ask a favor from him? "Yah, are you drunk?"  
  
"I'm not! But Sungjae is!" Ilhoon groaned on the other line. Changsub's curiousity was piqued at the mention of the younger's name.  
  
"Why is Sungjae drunk?"  
  
"It's a long story, hyung, and I'll tell it to you later, but please come here first. Sungjae is so wasted he doesn't wanna get up from the ground!"  
  
"What?" he laughed as the image of Sungjae lying on the ground entered his mind, and he immediately realized that he shouldn't laugh at drunk people, so he cleared his throat. "What does that got to do with me? Don't you have any adults with you there? You should ask them for help."  
  
"Mom and Dad's sleeping already, and these dumbfucks areㅡ what the hell Yook Sungjae, don't eat the grass!" Ilhoon was silent for a moment, probably attending to Sungjae, and then Changsub heard his voice again. "Sungjae doesn't want to move! He said he wants you to come here and bring him home!"  
  
"The hell?" He was surprised, of course. What was Sungjae even thinking? _He's asking me to bring him home, really?_ "Now, he wants me to be his nanny? Great. Where exactly are you? I'm going to pick up his drunk ass."  
  
"We're at my house. I'll text you the address. Please get over here fast, hyung. I don't think I can handle Sungjae anymore!" Ilhoon sounded really, really frustrated.  
  
"He's your friend! Handle him a little bit more." He winced as he stood up to get his coat. "Ilhoon, wait. I don't have any money here."  
  
"Tell the cab driver I'll pay him once you get here. Hyung, please just go and hurry!"  
  
"Fine. I'm on my way."  
  
He finally ended the call. A couple of minutes later, a text message cameㅡ it was Ilhoon's address. Changsub locked the house as soon as he got out of it. He walked outside to wait for a cab to pass by. He then heaved a sigh. _What was Sungjae thinking and he decided to get himself wasted like that? Why are they even drinking?_ There were so many questions he wanted to ask, but that can wait. He believed he should hurry first, because the last time he checked, Sungjae was trying to eat some grass.  
  
A cab stopped right in front of him. He immediately got inside and showed Ilhoon's address to the driver. Good thing the driver knew where that is. He thanked the man as he slumped on his seat, and he instantly winced because of the pain in his back. _Ah, damn._ Changsub tried a new position to make himself comfortable, and it worked, thank goodness.

Sungjae should definitely treat him nicer after this. If he didn't love that guy, he would probably leave his ass to rot on Ilhoon's garden forever.

After almost half an hour, they've arrived in front of a big and luxurious looking house, at last. _Damn, Ilhoon's family is rich as fuck._  Changsub saw Ilhoon waiting in front of their house gateㅡ looking like he's ready to fight anyone that would come his way. He lowered the cab's window and called Ilhoon. The latter's annoyed face turned into a relieved one when he saw him.  
  
"Changsub hyung, finally!"  
  
Ilhoon walked up to them and gave the driver a card to pay for his fare. They thanked the driver as he got out of the cab. He then streched his arms as he looked at Ilhoon.  
  
"Where's the brat? Let's get him out of here."  
  
"Come inside, hyung. Sorry for calling so late." Ilhoon scratched the back of his neck, looking really apologetic at the moment. "I know this is such an inconvenience, but thank you for still coming."  
  
"It's fine." he smiled as he assured the younger. "You need my help anyway."  
  
He followed Ilhoon until they reached the back of their house. There he saw four bodies sleeping soundly on the couch, and they looked totally dead from drinking. His eyes panned to the right, and he saw a man lying face-first flat on the ground, singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Stars. Yes. This was Sungjae, alright.  
  
"He looked so stupid." Changsub sighed as he made his way to Sungjae. He then slowly sat down where the younger's back was facing him. He gently brushed the younger's hair. "Sungjae-yah, get up now. Let's go home."  
  
He felt Sungjae froze as he suddenly stopped singing. The younger's head slowly turned to look back at him. Sungjae loudly gasped, his eyes got bigger as soon as he saw him. The calm and soft light from the moon was shining on Sungjae's pale skin. He missed that arrogant yet beautiful face so much. Changsub cocked his head to the side, and he softly smiled at the younger while his fingers were still brushing the younger's hair.  
  
"C-Changsub hyung?"  
  
He wanted to laugh at Sungjae's face. _Why does he look like he's going to cry?_ This young man was really weird. Good thing he was weirder.  
  
"Yes, Sir!" He raised his hand to do the military salute. "Lee Changsub reporting for duty, Sirㅡ oof!"  
  
He was suddenly tackled to the ground, with the younger's body completely on top of him, and the guy was seriously heavy. Sungjae was hugging him so tight that he couldn't breathe properly. Then the younger burried his face on his neck all of a sudden that he could feel his hot breath against his skin. Changsub was seriously going crazy because they were too close for his sanity. He was so shocked at the younger's actions he couldn't even mutter a single word. What was happening here? Someone help him! He desperately looked for Ilhoon, but the other was nowhere in sight.  
  
_Where did that guy go? Did he just leave me all alone to deal with Sungjae's drunk ass? Is he satan's twin brother or something? Ugh!_  
  
"You cruel little evil!" he felt Sungjae muttered against his neck, his hug getting tighter, if that was still possible. "I hate you! Why are you doing this to me! You're such a liar!"  
  
This dude was definitely drunk. Was he pertaining to him? How did he become a liar? Changsub patted the younger's back softly.  
  
"Sungjae-yah, get off please. My back hurts." It's true. His back was starting to hurt again. He winced as he felt the pain intensify. "Yah! Yah! Let go, Yook Sungjae. Please."  
  
"Nooooooo!" The younger gently rubbed his face against him. Jesus was really testing him. "I will not let you go! You're not going anywhere!"  
  
"F-fine! I won't go anywhere, but please just let me go for aㅡ"  
  
"You're such a liar!" Sungjae slightly lifted his upper body to look at his face, or was it his lips that the younger was looking to? _What the hell._ Their faces were just a few inches apart now, and he's having a hard time breathing. "I hate you. You're so cruel."  
  
What did he even do?  
  
Changsub was just looking at the younger's face now, the pain in his back was forgotten momentarily. Sungjae's gaze were so soft and his eyes looked really mesmerizing up close, but there was something else on it. It looked kind of... sad? _But why?_ He also noticed that Sungjae looked so tired, the dark circles around his eyes were really noticeable now. It must be from the stress of their IMO training. _Poor guy._ He heaved a sigh as he cupped the younger's face with his two hands. He smiled softly at the younger, gently patting his cheeks.  
  
"Let's go home, Sungjae-yah." he waited for any reaction from Sungjae, but the guy was just staring blankly at him. He repeated what he said, and after a couple of minutes, the younger finally nodded. Changsub instantly smiled. "Okay, let's get you home, alright! But first of all, get off me."  
  
He realized that Sungjae wasn't going to move any time soon, so he just sighed again and gently pushed the younger off of him. He was thankful when the other finally stood up. He tried to get up, but the pain on his back was being a bitch again. He groaned loudly, and Sungjae, despite being drunk, looked at him worriedly and tried to help him stand, but he almost fell to the ground again. Changsub smiled as he waved his hands to the younger dismissively, trying his best to get up slowly. When he finally had both of his feet on the ground, he decided to stretch his arms and waist to lessen the pain.  
  
"Sungjae-yah," he called the younger. "Can you walk properly? Of course, you can't. Why am I even asking?"  
  
Sungjae honestly looked so knocked out. His tired eyes were drooping already, and that was when Changsub knew that the younger couldn't understand a thing on what he was saying anymore. He had no other choice but to be a human crutch.  
  
This was surely going to be a long night.

***

Sungjae woke up in the middle of his sleep because his head was throbbing like crazy. _What happened yesterday?_ The last thing he remembered was him drowning himself in his soju bottle while Ilhoon was trying to stop him. He totally got himself wasted last night, damn. He rubbed the sleepiness in his eyes, and he was shocked when he saw Changsub sleeping peacefully beside him. He looked around him and he realized that they were in his own room. He was wearing clean pyjamas now, and Changsub was lying his head on his chest while his arms were securedly wrapped around the older. Was he dreaming? He tried to pinch Changsub's nose to confirm. The older immediately crinkled his nose as his eyebrows furrowed, mumbling a soft _I'll kill you_ in his sleep.  
  
"Cute even when asleep, I see." Sungjae mumbled to himself as he kept on staring at the older's sleeping face. He was absolutely elated. Changsub's cheeks were so full and his lips were slightly parted. He could also hear a soft snore coming from the other. This felt surreal.

"Are you really Changsub hyung?"

Changsub suddenly stirred in his sleep.  
  
"Fuck you... give back my ketchup." he giggled as Changsub softly slapped his tummy. _What kind of dream are you having? It seems funny._ "Bitch give it back."  
  
Sungjae wanted to watch more of Changsub's journey in his dreams, but sleep was slowly getting into him again. He hugged the other tighter, liking the warmth that the other's body was providing. He kissed the top of the older's head as he said good night.

If this were all just a dream, he might as well make the most out of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter we'll finally know what really happened to changsub so please stay tuned!! thank you all for reading ♡


	7. CHAPTER SEVEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> t/w: mild violence and homophobia.

Sungjae woke up for the second time that day. His head was still throbbing, but it was not as intense as before. The morning sun was strongly shining through his windowpane, lighting up his whole room too brightly for his liking. His eyes automatically searched for Changsub, but the other side of his bed was unoccupied. Was last night just a dream? He felt kind of empty waking up without the older by his side. He then sat up against the headboard of his bed, contemplating if he should wash up or go to sleep again. It was a boring Sunday morning and he has no classes or any appointments today. He might as well just be unproductive all day.

"Wow! Good to know you're already awake, Your Highness!"

He whipped his head to find where the owner of that voice was, and by the door way, he saw Changsub standing there. A tray of food was in his hands, eyebrows raised, and a certain Sami in tow. He was kind of just gawking at the older now because he was so speechless at the moment. So, last night was real. They really slept together in his bed. He hugged Changsub in his sleep, and kissed him good night. He suddenly felt his blood rushing to his face.

"Why is your face so red?" Changsub inquired as he walked inside, and placed the tray of food on his bedside table. "Are you feeling sick or something? Do you feel like puking? I swear to god Yook Sungjae, I can't handle you puking anymore. I have no more face to show to your mother and sister! I've had enough of your antics last night. Now go eat this hang-over soup I made, or do you still want me to spoon-feed you, your highness?"

"Ah, so noisy. My head hurts." he mumbled as he kept on massaging his forehead with his fingers. He didn't want to admit, but he felt quite happy having Changsub nagging him like this. He must really be out of his mind. "Hyung, you slept here last night."

"I am very much aware." the older even placed one of his hands on his hips. "I couldn't even breathe because all of you're weight was on me. You're so freaking heavy that my back hurts so much. You better treat me like a king from now on after all the sacrifices I made for you, you brat. But eat first. The soup is getting colder."

Sungjae went over to his bedside table to eat while Changsub sat on his bed, playing with Sami. He noticed that Sami didn't even gave him her usual good morning lick on his face. _She must've found a new master already._ He chuckled at the sight of Sami rubbing her face on Changsub's hand. He realy liked the view so much.

"Hyung, did you eat already? Come and join me." he tapped the space next to his seat. "Come here."

"I will fall over if I sit there, you brat." Changsub shook his head in disbelief. "I already ate downstairs with your mom. Ugh, I'm so embarrased as hell! I'm gonna kick you in the balls after you eat, so go and eat faster!"

"Why are you so mad? Geez." He chuckled as he bring the spoon to his mouth. "What did I do to you yesterday that makes you want to kill me now?"

"Oh, you wanna know? Good." He saw Changsub took a deep breath, probably controlling his emotions before he fires away. Sungjae can't help but laugh. Changsub raised a finger. "First of all, Ilhoon called me so late yesterday night just to tell me that you're eating the grass on their garden, and you will not move unless it's me who will pick you up."

"I didn't eat their garden's grass."

He tried to defend himself, because what else could he do but to counter attack?

"Sure, love."

Sungjae stopped breathing for a moment when he heard that endearment again. Even if it was said in a sarcastic tone, his heart still did its own little celebratory dance. It's been so long since Changsub called him that. He felt so stupid for being happy over that simple sentence right now, but whatever. He still called him that and that's all that matters.

"Why are you even smiling there? Are you proud that everyone saw you eating a piece of Ilhoon's garden?" the older raised a second finger. "Second, you kept on insisting to the cab driver that we should go to a nearby motel! What the hell, Yook Sungjae. I almost left your stupid drunk ass alone on the road. What did you even drink to make you say those things? I couldn't believe everything."

Sungjae's mouth was hanging open. He felt his heart drop down to the deepest pits of hell. Did he really do that? He must've been drunk dead to not remember any of these things. His soup was getting cold on the table as he suddenly forgot how to eat.

"H-hey, now, I did not do that." he tried to deny, more to himself of course, but the look on Changsub's face told him otherwise. "I really did that?"

"I'm happy you forgot everything, and I'm the only one left suffering from the trauma." Changsub gave him one last look for that topic before he raised a third finger. "Third. Fast forward to your house. Your mom and sister was waiting for you outside. They saw me carrying you by the shoulder because you couldn't even walk a step without kissing the ground. They tried to get you to help me, but you screamed at them to mind their own business. I was so surprised. Why would you even say that? I tried to hand you over to them because my body fucking hurts so bad, but do you know what else did you do? You hopped on my back, and said you wanted a piggy back ride! What are you, seven? I had no choice but to carry you on my back up here, you brat!"

"D-Did I reallyㅡ"

"Of course, you did! But that's not all!" Changsub cut him immediately because he was on fire already. It seemed like he needed to let out all of his anger off his chest. Changsub raised a fourth finger. "Fourth. In this room. Before I could even put you to bed, you decided to puke all over my neck and back! That was the most disgusting thing I have ever felt in my entire life, not even when Hyunsik shove his fingers inside my mouth! Why are all of you around me so dirty?"

"Why would he shove his fingers inside your mouth?" Yes, that's the only thing he remembered after all of what Changsub had said.

"Why would you even puke all over me then?!" He saw Changsub shuddered at the feeling, then raised a fifth finger after. "Fifth. Your mom and sister was trying to change you into clean clothes in your bathroom while I clean your mess in here. I heard you screaming at them to mind their own business again, and that I should be the one to help you change your clothes. Your mom asked you why, and you answered that because I love you, and I like to see your body! What the fuck! You were even giggling. I wanted dig a hole and bury myself in the deepest part of the earth to never face your mom and sister again. I heard your mom gasped, and your sister was dying from laughing. Why would you tell your mom that! Yook Sungjae, I swear to god!"

Sungjae couldn't even produce any sound anymore. He put his hand over his mouth, too speechless at all the things Changsub had been spilling. He promised to himself that he would never, ever drink again. Last night would be the last night that a liquor would slid down his throat.

"Speechless now, your highness?" Changsub raised a sixth finger. "Lastly, you kept on p-pining me down. I couldn't even move because you're so heavy. You also kept on telling me that I'm cruel and a liar, and that you hate me. I already know that you hate me, but when did I become cruel to you? When did I lie to you? But maybe it wasn't me you're pertaining to. Also! You k-kept on... Aish! You kept on n-nibbling my ear! Did you know that you made me h-half harㅡ"

Changsub was quick to stop himself from talking, and they were just looking at each other now. It was so intense that Sungjae could even hear his own pulse. No one was breaking the eye contact. He could feel the thick tension in the air. It was so palpable, but no one has dared to make a move. It was so frustrating, but it felt so good, so frustratingly good.

"Changsub hyung," Sungjae suddenly found his voice. "Do you want me to kiss you?"

He didn't know why he asked that. Heck! He didn't know what has gotten into him. Was he still even thinking properly? _Whatever._ He was about to stand up, but he saw Changsub stood up first. His face red, brows furrowed, teeth gritting, and hands balled into fists as he slowly closed the distance between them. Sungjae looked up from where he was sitting as he swallowed an invisible lump in his throat, but Changsub didn't look like he was going to kiss him at all.

He looked like he was going to murder him alive.

"Do you really think life is just a game?!" Changsub half-screamed at him as he grabbed his hair and tried to pull it out from his head. "Do you enjoy playing with people's feelings?! Am I not entertaining enough for you that you're now starting to say things like that?! You can hate me all you want, but don't treat me like I'm really stupid, and I'll obey everything you want me to do! Don't play with my feelings like that!"

His scalp hurt so bad now, but he didn't do anything about it. Things hadn't turn the way he wanted to, again. He knew he had hurt Changsub's feelings, again. He could clearly see it in his face. He watched as the older tried to keep his tears from falling, and it made Sungjae want to punch himself in the face. This was the first time in a while that they're together again, and he just unintentionally made the older cry. He hated himself because he wasn't thinking properly. He felt so stupid.

"Changsub hyung, please stop," he tried to pull the older's hands away from his head, and thank god it worked. His scalp was throbbing, but he ignored it. "I didn't mean it to sound like that. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I'm not playing with you. I'm sorry if I offended you."

Changsub looked up as he tried to take a few deep breaths. After a couple of minutes, the older weakly went back to sit on his bed, looking more exhausted than ever. Sungjae's heart instantly hurt.

"Finish your food, Sungjae-yah." Changsub mumbled tiredly as he rubbed his face with his two hands. "Then take me back to my house. I don't have money here so..."

"Changsub hyungㅡ"

"Please."

"I'll just take a bath. Wait for me here."

He fucked up again, but this time he was sober, which made all of these much worse.

***

Sungjae purposely took it slow while bathing. He needed to clear his mind so he could apologize properly to Changsub later. He also tried to give the older more time and space to cool himself down. Maybe if they were both down with their emotions, they could finally talk peacefully with no violence happening. He wore a simple oversized shirt and a pair of grey sweatpants. He left his wet hair to dry itself, then he carefully walked out of his bathroom. He saw Changsub lying on his bed in a fetal position, sleeping soundly. He took so long on taking a bath that the older had already fallen asleep from waiting. Sungjae smiled softly at the scene. He had never seen someone looked so serene while sleeping, or maybe because it was Lee Changsub he was talking about.

He sat cross-legged on the floor, then he placed his head on his bed opposite the older's sleeping face. Sungjae brought up his hand, and gently brushed some of the hair that were covering Changsub's eyes. He noticed that the older really has a pale skin. Paler than him, even. He tried to softly trace the other's fluffy cheek. If they could only stay like that forever, Sungjae wouldn't mind sitting on the floor of his own bedroom at all.

Changsub stirred in his sleep, and then he slowly opened his eyes. Their eyes immediately met, swimming in each other's gaze. They stayed like that for a moment until Changsub broke the silence.

"Should we head out now orㅡ"

"Hyung, I'm sorry." Sungjae apologized in the most sincere way he could muster, voice laced with tenderness. He was still brushing the older's hair absent-mindedly. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. It's just... I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking properly. Please don't get mad at me."

Changsub just looked at him like that, trying to absorb everything that he had said. Then, the older sighed and slowly smiled at him weakly. Finally, he smiled at him for the first time this day. Sungjae felt relieved.

"Sorry for trying to make you bald earlier." Changsub ruffled his hair which made Sungjae smile. "Does it still hurt?"

"Not anymore." his hand went to the older's forehead, trying to draw inanimate objects using his finger. "Can you stay here for a little longer, hyung? Let's be unproductive together."

The older quietly chuckled, his eyes forming into crescent moons that he always liked to see. In front of him was a view he wouldn't trade for anything. His heart felt lighter than he had ever felt before.

"What happened to your competition with Ilhoon?" the older suddenly inquired. "I didn't have the chance to wish you good luck. Sorry."

"It's fine." He said breathlessly. "We won the gold and silver medals with four honorable mentions. Ilhoon got gold while I got the silver."

"I'm so proud of you, love." Changsub gave him a toothy grin while ruffling his hair again. Sungjae was definitely on cloud nine. "Is that why you went drinking with them yesterday? You're wasted as hell."

"No." Sungjae shook his head to disagree. "Well, partly yes because we won two grand prizes. In my case... I have a different reason."

"And what is that?" Changsub raised an eyebrow at him. "May I know what's the reason you almost killed me last night?"

Well, here goes nothing.

"You didn't contact me for a week after you agreed to have lunch with me." Sungjae couldn't help but pout. "You didn't wish me good luck on the day of my competition. I felt so down, so I drunk until I almost _killed_ you. Sorry, hyung."

He didn't know where the hell did he got all of this courage to tell Changsub his reason of getting wasted last night, but he liked to believe that he had to be honest with this man right now. He liked the feeling of telling what's on his mind freely to the older.

Changsub was wide-eyed and speechless for a moment. He looked totally shocked because of his confession. He then felt the older slapped his right cheek softly.

"Why would you do that to yourself, you brat." Changsub wasn't angry, just purely surprised. "I didn't know my presence was that impactful, huh?"

"Oooh, was that your ego talking?" he teased the older with a smirk on his lips. "Did I make your ego happy?"

Changsub just laughed at him as he playfully pinched his cheeks. He faked a hurtful groan so that the older would stop. Sungjae wouldn't wish anything right now but for them to continue on being like this forever, or atleast for today.

"It was just a week anyway." the older stated simply. "I just had a problem that came over me, and then that's that."

"May I know what kind of problem was that?" Sungjae was curious, of course. What kind of problem would take you a week to solve? "I told you my reason a while ago! Let's be honest to each other, hyung."

Changsub stiffened at the question. Sungjae saw panic in the older's eyes. It seemed like the other stopped breathing for a while, too. Did he touch a sensitive topic? Why does Changsub look so scared? The atmosphere suddenly became so tensed.

"Hyung, are you okay?" he asked the older worriedly, his face moving closer to the other. "You don't have to answer that if it makes you uncomfortable."

He saw the older tried to take a few deep nervous breaths. Changsub closed his eyes while trying to relax himself, and Sungjae helped by rubbing the older's back. He was actually getting nervous, too. This just didn't look like a simple problem if he's witnessing the older behaving this way. He patiently waited for Changsub to even his breath so he could speak properly again.

"I think I owe you this explanation, Sungjae-yah." Changsub slowly opened his eyes, and looked at him seriously. His orbs were swimming with a lot of unreadable emotions.

"I told you, you don't have to answer if this makes you uncomfortable."

"No. I want to overcome this. Will you help me?"

Sungjae couldn't say no to that pair of eyes. Never. He nodded as he continue rubbing the older's back for support.

"Okay, here it goes." Changsub looked up the ceiling and cleared his throat a few more times. "I got home after we finished practicing for our upcoming musical last Sunday. I haven't even opened the door to our home when I already heard that bastard's voice screaming so loud. I immediately went inside, and I saw him throwing plates and figurines around. Our house was a mess. It always was whenever he's home. I quickly looked for my mom, and I saw her hiding inside our bedroom, cowering in fear. I ran to her so I could protect her from that monster. I tried to calm her down because she was crying so hard, it always automatically made me cry whenever I see mom like that. Maybe he noticed that we were crumpled inside one room, so he also went there. He almost hit my mom when he tried to throw a mug at her.

My father was a useless drunkard and a gambler to boot. He doesn't have a job, and he doesn't stay at home with us anymore. He only visits us when he needs money to buy himself a drink, or play whatever games he likes in the casino. That day, mom already gave him her money that she earned from selling dumplings in the market so he can already stop and leave, but he whined that it wasn't enough. He said he knows that my mom was keeping some of her money from him. That fucking devil. I hate him so much. I don't even consider him as a father anymore. I hope one day he'll die because some thug had tried to kill him. I don't care about him anymore. He just kept on hurting us, anyway. He hated me too, you know? Because I'm gay. He always punched or kicked me whenever he sees me, saying he doesn't have a child that's gay, that I was disgusting, and dirty. I don't care whatever he says to me. We can go to hell together for all I care.

He kept on insisting that my mom should give him more money, so she got frustrated and yelled at him. She told him that he was a useless husband, and she hopes he'll die soon. I guess that made him angrier, because he lifted the nearest wooden chair, and tried to hit my mom with it, but I was fast enough to shield her from that. Then I just heard the chair broke behind my back, but I couldn't feel anything. For a moment there, all I saw was darkness. I closed my eyes for a while, and when I opened them, mom was crying in front of me. I assured her that I'm fine. I turned to my father and throw him all the money I got inside my pocket. That was my allowance for that whole week. He seemed to be finally satisfied with the amount he got because he didn't say anything after that. He just left without making any noise.

That's why I didn't go to school that week, you know? My back hurt so much, and I don't have any money, too. Eunkwang and Hyunsik helped me mortgaged my phone in the pawnshop to get us money to survive for a week. That's why I wasn't able to contact you, Sungjae-yah. I'm sorry."

"No, no, don't say sorry, hyung. It's never your fault."

Sungjae's heart hurt so bad. His chest felt so heavy and in so much pain. He didn't even realized that he was crying. He never felt this angry before that he wanted to hurt that guy so badㅡ so bad he wouldn't be able to walk for the rest of his life. No one has the right to lay a finger on such a wonderful and kind guy like Changsub. Sungjae was so hurt hearing the story. He couldn't even imagine what Changsub felt that time.

He stood up from the floor and joined the older on the bed. Sungjae hugged the older ever so gently, afraid that he might cause more damage, afraid that he might break him. He just couldn't stop crying for him. Changsub didn't deserve any of this.

"Hyung, I'm so sorry this has happened to you. You and your mom didn't deserve to be treated that way. Never." he looked at the older that was gently smiling at him. Changsub's cheeks were full of tears, too. He wiped them gently, and then he brushed some hair away from his face. "You're so brave, hyung. You got through all of that alone. I'm proud that you never gave up. Thank you for trusting me when you decided to tell me all of this."

"Why are you crying?" Changsub quietly chuckled as he softly wiped Sungjae's tears that wouldn't even stop from falling. "Don't cry, love. I'm okay now."

Sungjae cried even harder after that. Changsub was still comforting him eventhough he should be the one comforting the other. He just hugged Changsub tighter.

"It hurts, hyung. I didn't have any idea of what you've gone through." he sobbed on the older's neck. "All I did was complain and get mad at you. I'm so sorry, Changsub hyung."

Changsub patted his back softly.

"It's okay, love. I'm now alright."

Sungjae suddenly stood up as he wiped his tears using his sleeves. He looked at the other man with a strong determination on his face.

"Let's put that man to jail, hyung." he proposed to the older. "I don't want him near you and your mom ever again. I don't want him laying his fingers on you."

"That's impossible." he helped the older as he tried to sit up, too. They were now talking face to face. "We've thought about that a long time ago, but we don't have the money for a lawyer, and what if he'll only get a small sentence? He might come back to us, and god knows what he's gonna do next."

"I'll help you." He held the older's hands tightly. "My dad's a lawyer. He has taken some cases for free before. Let's put that man to jail, Hyung."

"A-are you sure you're willing to do that?" Changsub was crying again, probably overwhelmed because of what he had just offered. "Will your dad be okay ifㅡ"

"I'll help you, Changsub hyung." He reached for the other and hugged him gently, securing him in his arms at the same time. "We'll help you, okay? Trust me."

He felt the older nodding his head against his shoulder which made Sungjae smile. He would never let anything like that happen again. From now on, he will protect this precious guy in his arms as much as he can.

Because he can now bravely admit itㅡ that he is falling for Lee Changsub for a while now.

No, scratch that.

He has fallen all this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my heart hurt while writing this snnzshjsns. anyways, have you guys seen the first concept photo for btob's this is us? they were all so soft and fluffy ;(( and i'm crying at changjae in their group photo sbshsbshsh all the softness in their eyes ;((
> 
> i'm glad sungjae finally saw the light lol. thank you all for reading! see you in the next chapter!


	8. CHAPTER EIGHT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here comes peniel!

Sungjae didn't waste any time and quickly asked for legal help from his father. He told him in full details what Changsub had confided in him that day, and his father immediately scheduled a meeting with Changsub and his mother. That was the first time he's been to the older's house and to tell that he was surprised is an understatement, because their houses were only five blocks away from each other! He could even fetch Changsub every morning so they could walk to school together if he would like to. He didn't have any idea how close their houses were at all. Changsub didn't inform him about it either.  
  
_I don't know what's the point of me telling you where I live. It's not like you'll visit me or something._  The older answered him with an incredulous laugh when he asked him about that while their parents were having a serious discussion.  
  
That was before, and now that he had already admitted to himself that he has fallen in love the older, who knows? He might really visit Changsub everyday. He grinned at his idea. He hadn't realized this before, but he really liked hanging out with the older. Sungjae always felt happy and complete whenever they're together. He looked at Changsub beside him who was biting his lips while quietly listening to the two adults in the room, and thought, yes, this guy surely was his absolute happiness, and he would like to be the one who brings happiness to him, too. Sungjae would like to see those lovely smiling eyes looking at him everytime the older would laugh. He would love to be the reason behind every one of his smiles.  
  
Their parents have agreed to file a criminal case and a permanent restraining order against Changsub's father, and his Dad will file it immediately tomorrow morning. Sungjae's father explained that Changsub's father should now stay 300 feet away from them, and he should be refrained from selling any of their properties he could use for gambling. If Changsub's father violate the said order, it could result with additional jail time. He watched as Changsub wiped his mother's tears as they both smile at each other. It was undoubtedly a very heart-warming sight. The mother and son thanked his Dad endlessly. Sungjae's father shaked their hands and told them that he was glad to help those who are in need.  
  
"Dad, I'll be quick. I just need to tell Changsub hyung something."  
  
He asked his father to wait for him inside the car, and then he immediately ran his way towards the older who was standing by their doorway while waiting for them to leave.  
  
"Hyung!" he grinned as he looked at the other playfully.  
  
"Yah, why are you still here?" the older softly slapped his arm. "Your father is waiting for you!"  
  
"I just want to inform you that we'll be continuing our trigonometry sessions tomorrow." Sungjae loved using any excuses just to be with Changsub, alright. "Our final summative test is coming up! We should study harder now if you want to pass."  
  
"I know, you brat." Changsub glanced at his father inside the car. "Your Dad looks angry now. You should go!"  
  
"How did you know? Our car is heavily tinted, though? What angry are you talking about?" He playfully flicked the older's forehead. "Fine, I'll go now. I'll call you later, okay?"  
  
"Why?"  
  
Changsub's confused face made him laugh. Why is this man so adorable? He wanted to squish those cheeks so bad.  
  
"Because I want to." He waved his hand to the older as he made his way back inside his father's car. "Bye, hyung!"  
  
"Bye, Sir! Thank you again for the big help. Bye, Yook Sungjae!"  
  
They saw Changsub bow, and then the older waved them goodbye before finally going inside. Sungjae heard his father clearing his throat beside him. He immediately looked up, and he saw his Dad smiling softly at him.  
  
"I know you want to say something, Dad." he knew his father noticed something earlier. He wouldn't be a lawyer if his senses weren't that sharp. He was slightly nervous, but he knew his father would be understanding. He was closer to his father than his mom. He often told his deepest secrets to his Dad without any fear of being judged. He felt like he was more of a best friend than a father, actually.  
  
"You seem fond of that Changsub guy." His Dad raised an eyebrow at him. "More than fond, actually."  
  
"Was it that obvious?" he couldn't look at his father, not when he was blushing like hell. "I was trying hard to look neutral, though."  
  
"That was the best you could do to look neutral?" his father laughed aloud, one hand on the steering wheel while the other ruffled his hair playfully. "I know the looks you give when looking at that guy. I've been there."  
  
"Y-you're okay with me... being..." Sungjae swallowed an invisible lump in his throat. "You're okay with me liking him, right?"  
  
The car suddenly stopped. The red stop light was blinking at Sungjae slowly. His father turned to look at him with a knowing and understanding smile, and then he ruffled his hair once again.  
  
"I'm just you're father, Sungjae-yah. I don't have the rights to control who you choose to hate, who you choose to like and who you choose to love." His dad softly patted his shoulder. "The moment you were born, you have already earned your rights as a human. One of that rights is to make your own choices. We, as your parent, can only be there to support and guide you for your choices. If you like him and if he makes you happy, then who am I to interfere, right?"  
  
Sungjae groaned and lightly punched his father in the arm.  
  
"Why are you the coolest Dad ever?"  
  
His father just laughed and continued driving when the stop light turned green again. Sungjae was touched, of course. He knew his father would be supportive. He always was. Sungjae was really thankful that he had a father like him. He was lucky to have his parent's support to his every decision. In return, he promised to himself that he will make them proud of him whatever it takes.  
  
"Does your mom know about this?"  
  
His father wouldn't also be a laywer if he wouldn't ask many questions.  
  
"I think so. Yeah." he just shrugged it off as he looked outside. "Maybe that night when I was drunk and Changsub hyung was there to help me. I yelled at her and noona to mind their own business because I want Changsub hyung to take care of me."  
  
His father's laugh echoed inside the whole car. He couldn't help but laugh, too.  
  
_Ah, to be in love._

***

"Man, do you still want to be friends with me?"  
  
Sungjae turned his head to the right. They were slumped on the floor after an intense hour of taekwondo practice. He looked at Peniel, his elementary classmate and a fellow member in the Taekwondo Club, with a knot on his forehead.  
  
"What do you mean?" he jokingly nudged the other's sboulder. "Don't tell me you're trying to break our childhood friendship?"  
  
"Nah, I'm just wondering when will you hang with us again." Peniel chugged his water bottle, and then let out a loud burp. Sungjae laughed at him. " We haven't played Overwatch for ages, man! Let's meet up on Saturday, yeah? Ilhoon, Mark, Ken and Himchan hyung will come!"  
  
Sungjae chugged his own water bottle, too. Damn, it really has been a while since he last bonded with his childhood friends. They used to beat each other's ass on Overwatch in Peniel's apartment often. Actually, he could play with them if he wanted to, but of all days, why should it be on Saturday? That was his me-time with Changsub, if that would even make sense. He wouldn't let go of the chance to be with Changsub because... he was greedy as hell. He wanted Changsub to himself even if only on the weekends.  
  
He was such a bad friend, alright.  
  
"I'm sorry Peniel, but I can't go on saturday." he tried to look and sound as apologetic as he could. "Things are gonna be busy for me because our final summative tests are coming. I have so many responsibilities in my hands. I don't think I can make time for Overwatch, dude. I'm sorry."  
  
"But you can make time for Changsub hyung."  
  
Sungjae quickly whipped his head to the left and there he saw Ilhoon sit beside him, a playful smirk was playing on his friend's lips.  
  
"What?" he hissed at Ilhoon. He kind of wanna punch that smug face at the moment.  
  
"I said you can make time for Changsub hyung now, right? He's waiting for you outside."  
  
His mood quickly brightened at the mention of the older's name. He beamed at no one in particular because he was crazy like that. Ilhoon saw his stupid smile and grimaced at him. Sungjae ignored his friend because he wasn't being exactly a friend right now. He politely excused himself to Ilhoon and Peniel, and quickly made his way outside. He smiled as he immediately spotted the older. Changsub waved at him enthusiastically as he ran his way to meet Sungjae.  
  
"Love!"  
  
The butterflies inside Sungjae's stomach went in an utter chaos. It was just one word, and his insides were on a total riot. He tried hard to suppress his emotions by staying calm, wishing he could maintain his cool image in front of the older.  
  
"Hyung, what are you doing here?" he inquired, and then his eyes caught the paperbag that was held by the older. "What's that?"  
  
"Oh, this? For you." Changsub handed him the bag. "My mom bought an extra hoodie when she went to the mall yesterday. She ordered me to give that to you as a thank you gift, but there's a little problem..."  
  
"There's no need to buy me this, but tell your mom I said thanks and I appreciate it." He took a peek inside the bag, and he saw a white-colored hoodie. "What's the problem with this, hyung? I like white, though?"  
  
"I know. Mom bought two hoodies actually," Changsub scratched the back of his neck, looking quite flustered. "One for you and one for me. It would've been nice if she bought two different hoodies because we're two different people, right? but she bought the same pair, so we now kind of have the same hoodie. Don't worry, I won't wear mine so that you could wear yours!"  
  
"Changsub hyung," _Shut up, I love it._ Sungjae was trying so hard to stop himself from grinning widely. "It's fine with me. We could even wear it together if you like."  
  
"Why would you want that?"  
  
He just sighed at the older's confused face. _Changsub hyung was really used to me rejecting his every offer, huh._  The older was afraid he might offend Sungjae, so what he would do is he would be the first one to quickly reject his own offers, and now Sungjae hated that everytime it happened. He hated himself for making Changsub like that.  
  
_One day. One day I'll tell you how much you mean to me, and that I'm thankful for everything you've given me, and how much you make me feel happy everytime you're with me and smiling at me. I'll find the perfect timing to tell you everything, Changsub hyung. I promise_.  
  
"Yah, are you still listening to me?"  
  
Sungjae was woken up from his thoughts when he felt Changsub slapped his arm softly. He looked down only to see the older looking up at him with his brows furrowed. _Adorable_. He smiled softly as he brought his left hand up, and then he gently eased the knot on the older's forehead.  
  
"What are you doing?" Changsub was taken-aback, exactly like what Sungjae had predicted. "There are people looking."  
  
"You were saying?" Sungjae didn't care about others at all, honestly, but he pulled his hand away from the other's face because Changsub was already looking at him like he had grown three heads and a tail.  
  
"You're so weird." Changsub absent mindedly touched the area where Sungjae had touch him. "I said mom was asking if you would like to have dinner in the house later? Do you have anything to do after your taekwondo practice?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Let's go home together, then." Changsub paused for a moment. "Only if you like, of course."  
  
Oh, how much he would like to smother that face with smooches! If Changsub had already decided that they would go home together, then they would go home together. He would very much like to go home with him today, and tomorrow, and everyday.  
  
_I'm such a goner for this guy._  
  
"Wait for me here," he tapped the older's shoulder. "I'll just change my clothes, and we'll go home right away."  
  
Changsub nodded at him, and Sungjae quickly made his way back inside to get his belongings. He ignored Ilhoon's knowing smirk because what else could he do but ignore it. He quickly showered and changed his clothes back to his uniform. He'd like to wear the hoodie Changsub's mom had bought for him, but maybe next time. Sungjae chuckled to himself. He already got a couple hoodie with the older without even trying, thanks to Changsub's mom. He laced his shoes up, and then he quickly made his way back outside where Changsub was waiting.  
  
_Time to meet my mother in law properly._

***

"Ah, your mom is really a great cook."  
  
Sungjae patted his tummy to prove his point and Changsub just laughed at his silliness. They were now both inside Changsub's room, resting before they start their trigonometry lesson. The older's room was smaller compared to his room, with only a single bed and a bedside table. His walls were adorned with a few old band posters. On the left side of the bed was where his closet is. It was small and cramped, but Sungjae liked it more than his own. Maybe because the whole room smelled of Changsub.  
  
"Sorry if my room is uncomfortable." Changsub apologized to him as he sat down in front of Sungjae. "Do you want us to study in the living room instead?"  
  
"Here is fine, hyung. I'm very comfortable here. Look." He lied on top of the older's bed, and then he grabbed Changsub's pillow, hugging it tightly. "I could even sleep here right now."  
  
He was about to close his eyes when he felt Changsub grabbed the pillow he was hugging, and slapped him with it in the face. The older laughed aloud because Sungjae looked totally surprised.  
  
"What was that for?!" Sungjae sat up from the bed and tried to snatch the pillow away from the older. "Give me that! I want my revenge!"  
  
"No way!" Changsub's laugh was music to Sungjae's ear. "This is my revenge for puking all over my back!"  
  
"You should move on from that already!" Sungjae almost grabbed the pillow, but Changsub was quick to hide it behind him. "Give me that! Don't hide it behind your back! Let's have a fair gㅡ aw!"  
  
Sungjae was hit by the pillow again and he fell on top of the bed because of the force. It stings a bit, but not enough to hurt him entirely. He heard the older's shocked gasp as he felt the bed dipped beside him. He saw Changsub's worried face glancing down at him.  
  
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Oh my god! Did that hurt?"  
  
Changsub's hands were all over Sungjae's faceㅡ patting it gently, rubbing his cheeks with his thumbs, and cupping it while blowing air to his face. He almost burst a laugh but quick to stop himself. He stared at the older's worried yet adorable face. He liked the feeling of being pampered and taken care by Changsub, so he would play the "hurt card" for a while.

Oh, the things he would do just to get closer to that guy!  
  
"That hurt." He said as he faked a glare at Changsub. "Why are you so violent, hyung?"  
  
"Sorry, I was just joking..." Changsub pouted unknowingly, and Sungjae just melted right there. "Where does it hurt, here?"  
  
"No, here." Sungjae wouldn't be Sungjae if he didn't think of a stupid idea. He pointed his fingers to his lips cutely, puckering it as he brought his face closer to Changsub. "Kiss this and the pain will fade away."  
  
He burst out laughing when he felt Changsub aggressively pulled his hair. He should get used to have his hair being pulled if he wants to prank this guy again. He heard the older hissing at him as he spouted curses here and there.  
  
"You fucker, I will kill you one day!" Changsub gave his hair one last pull before letting it go. He watched as the older lied on the space next to him. "Ah, I always sleep right after I eat. Let's just study tomorrow, Sungjae-yah!"  
  
"Nope." He stood up and dragged the older's body away from the bed and moved it towards the bedroom floor. If someone would see him, they would surely think that he was dragging a corpse instead. "We should study now because I'll give you a quiz on Saturday."  
  
Changsub suddenly shot up from where he was lying. He looked at Sungjae with wide eyes. The younger chuckled at the older's shocked face. He couldn't absolutely wait until Saturday. Did he already mention that he liked looking at Changsub's confused yet determined face specially when he's answering math questions? He reminded himself  to take a photo of that next time.  
  
"Yah, I forgot to tell you!" Changsub exclaimed suddenly. "I will be late for our meeting on Saturday. I have a prior appoinment before our lesson."  
  
"And what is that?" He raised an eyebrow at Changsub's direction. What's that appointment that seemed to be more important than him? "Is that more important than our meeting?"  
  
He noticed that Changsub's eyes were looking at everywhere except him. He was also anxiously biting his lips, and his hands were fiddling the hem of his shirt. Those were definitely the signs of serious nervousness.  
  
"No, it isn't." Changsub answered, still not looking at him. "I'll be late for just an hour, I think?"  
  
"Why?" he asked, genuinely curious. "Are you going somewhere first? I'll come with you then."  
  
"No. No. Actually..." Changsub paused for a while, hesitating at first. Then he just sighed and looked at him in the eyes. "My sunbae in my last musical asked me to have a cup of coffee on Saturday. I'm quite embarassed to say no, so I just agreed without thinking, but I made sure that it won't interfere with our lesson."  
  
Sungjae felt relieved. He thought Changsub would ditch him with someone else completely. If he's just gonna be only an hour late, then he's willing to wait.  
  
"That's okay." Sungjae reassured the older while smiling. "Maybe your sunbae misses you and just wanted to hang out with you."  
  
Here he was giving an advice about hanging out with friends when he himself ditched his friends for this man. Sometimes he just wanted to punch himself in the face.  
  
"H-he did say that." Changsub was flustered again. "Eunkwang hyung and Hyunsik kept on insisting that it would be a date though! I hate them."  
  
His ears couldn't believe what they had just heard, and then realization suddenly hit Sungjae like a truck. Changsub was flustered and nervous about his sunbae asking him to have a coffee with him because that sunbae told Changsub that he misses him. That sounded like a date to him, too! His heart suddenly dropped and his throat became dry.

No. He wouldn't allow it.  
  
_No one is going to have a date with my Changsub hyung other than me!_  
  
"Does that sunbae like you? Do you like that sunbae back?" he narrowed his eyes at Changsub, his tone sounded accusing more than inquiring. "Is that why you agreed to have a date with him?"  
  
"He kind of hinted that he's interested in me. He keeps on winking at me." Changsub shuddered at the memory. "I like him as a sunbae, though. He treated me well during the musical... and no, it's not a date! Why do you all think that it's a date?"  
  
"Because it is!" Sungjae snapped back at Changsub. He felt his blood boil at the thought of Changsub going on a date with another man. "You don't have to go if you don't want to. Tell him you're with me."  
  
Changsub just looked at him like he was a joke. He was serious as hell, though. He would do everything just to stop the older from having a cup coffee with whoever that sunbae is. He already hated the guy eventhough he had no idea what he looked like.  
  
"I already agreed, so I should go. I don't like breaking my promises, a-and if it really is a d-date," Changsub looked down at his hands while pouting. "It would be fine with me, I guess. I'd like to know what it feels like to be on a date."  
  
Sungjae couldn't keep his cool any longer. He was on his final limit. He could only take it from here.  
  
"Then go on a date with me!"  
  
He felt annoyed when Changsub just chuckled at what he said. He wasn't taking him seriously! Sungjae was beginning to get pissed.  
  
"Don't make me laugh, Yook Sungjae." Changsub was still laughing while pointing his finger at him. "You're asking to go out on a date with me? Are you sure about that? You make jokes on that level now, huh?"  
  
"You think I'm joking? Try me. I'll pick you up on Saturday, 4:00 pm. Tell that sunbae your date is cancelled. Tell him you're going out on a date with me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let's not make sungjae snap again, okay changsub? hahaha lol.
> 
> thank you always for reading! see you on the next chapter!


	9. CHAPTER NINE

"I can't believe I'm doing this with you, Yook Sungjae."  
  
Sungjae let out a nervous laugh. _Me too, hyung. Me too._ It was an impulsive actㅡ asking Changsub to have a date with him. Why did he do that, you ask? He got jealous. He panicked. He got scared of losing the older to another man. He got insecure, because some man actually had the courage to ask Changsub out on a date, while he had only contented himself with their tutoring sessions every weekend. Now, Sungjae didn't know what to do. He made plans the night before, of course. He didn't actually had a proper sleep because he kept on making disastrous scenarios about this date inside his head. He never felt so anxious like this before.  
  
But on the brighter side, he felt like he won the lottery when Changsub chose him over his sunbae. Not like the older had a choice, because he kind of forced Changsub to set aside his sunbae and just have a date with him, but if Changsub decided to have a cup of coffee with that senior of his, then there's nothing he could really do. Changsub was free to choose whoever he wants to be with. Sungjae just got lucky that it was him who Changsub had chosen.  
  
He fetched Changsub in his home and they agreed to just walk their way to the bus station.  
  
"Hyung, aren't you happy to be with me? Why are you wearing all black?" Sungjae teased the older's choice of clothes.  
  
Changsub just snorted at him. The older was wearing a black sweater, a black cargo shorts, his old school black vans, and a black bullcap. If Sungjae didn't have an idea that they were going on a date, he would rather think that the older would go to a funeral, but Changsub looked small and fluffy as always. Meanwhile, he was wearing a red hoodie, a faded jeans, and a simple white rubber shoes. He didn't try to overdress because he knew just how casual Changsub's fashion was.  
  
"Shut up. All of my clothes are either black or gray or white. Just deal with it, you brat."  
  
"I was just kidding." Sungjae chuckled as he pinched Changsub's nose. "You look cute."  
  
"No, I'm not." The older objected as he removed Sungjae's hand on his nose. "By the way, where are we going?" Changsub inquired, biting his fingernails. "Don't ever bring me to a fancy restaurant, or I really swear!"  
  
"Let's watch a movie," he suggested as he put an arm around Changsub's shoulder. "Or do you have any other plans in mind?"  
  
"I don't have any." Changsub paused for a while to think, and then he just shrugged his shoulders off. "Let's watch a movie then."  
  
"Any specific movie you wanna watch?" he coaxed.  
  
Sungjae waited for Changsub who was deep in thought. After a couple of minutes, Changsub's face lightened up. He looked at him with his big excited eyes.  
  
"Black Panther!"  
  
They looked at each other intensely while crossing their arms over their chests at the same time.  
  
"Wakanda Forever."  
  
They both laughed out loud at their silliness. Some people who were passing by gave them questioning looks. They both ignored them and continued imitating the characters from that movie. Black Panther was the current trend here, and almost all of their classmates kept on reenacting some scenes, so they kind of have an idea about what the movie would be like. They looked like kids trying to outdo each other and Sungjae loved it. He really could be himself with this man. It might not look like it, but they quite have a lot in common.  
  
Their small competition on acting was interrupted by a loud honk. Sungjae burst out in laughter when he saw Changsub jumped from the shock, and then he threw a loud curse after. The bus was finally here, so they got up and found a good seat at the back. Sungjae let Changsub sit by the window side. He made himself comfortable in his seat, and then he turned to face the older.  
  
"Hyung."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Why don't we go to school together like this everyday?" he excitedly suggested to the other. "I'll fetch you, and then we'll ride the bus, and then we'll go to school together. What do you think?"  
  
"Are you serious?" Changsub just snorted, shaking his head in disbelief. "Why would you do that?"  
  
"Why do you always sound like you don't believe me?" Sungjae mumbled and pouted because this always happen to him. "Don't you want to be with me?"  
  
"Do you really want to be with me?" Changsub questioned, his tone was suddenly serious. "For real?"  
  
"I thought I've already established that." Sungjae was now sulking. He couldn't hide his disappointment anymore. "Do you think I'll be doing all of this if I don't want to be with you? I even ditched my friends just to be with you today..."  
  
He mumbled the last sentence so softly but fortunately, Changsub had caught it. The older gasped at that, and then he slightly slapped his right arm.  
  
"Why would you ditch your friends just to be with me!" Changsub half-screamed at him. He didn't look mad, though? Just surprised, and he looked like he was blushing a little bit.  
  
"I told you..." Sungjae quietly stated while looking down, trying to find something interesting on his fingers. "I really like being with you, hyung. Why can't you believe me... "  
  
"Iㅡ uhh... I'm..."  
  
Sungjae still wasn't looking at the older, but he knew he made him flustered. He tried to hide his triumphant smile because it would ruin the mood. He needed Changsub to comfort him and tell him that he finally believes in him. This was Sungjae's last card to make Changsub's doubts fade away.

Honestly, he couldn't even blame if the older was having doubts about him. Everyday for the past three years, he kept on telling Changsub to leave him alone, and that he hated him so much that he would rather be born in another country than be with him in the same place, but look at him nowㅡ always yearning for the other's presence beside him. Nobody in their right mind would really take him seriously. Sungjae just hoped that Changsub would believe him now.

"T-thank you."

He was surprised when he felt the older's forehead on his shoulder. He looked up to see the older's head leaning down on him, and his heart hammered inside his chest because of that. He kept quiet for a moment as he just let Changsub continue what he was saying.  
  
"I really don't have any idea why you want to be with me, but... thank you, Sungjae-yah. That made me... h-happy."  
  
He heard a sniff, and that's when he realized that the older was crying. He gently lifted Changsub's face with his hands, making the older look at him in the eyes. Sungjae then gave him a soft smile while wiping the tears away from his cheeks. His chest tightened. Changsub's tears were the last thing he wanted to see in this world. This precious gem shouldn't be crying, his tears are so precious just to be wasted on someone like him. He promised that this will be the last time he's going to cry because of him.  
  
"I'm glad I made you happy." he genuinely replied, looking at the older with the most sincerity he could muster. "Hyung, I'm happy when I'm with you. Please believe me, hmm?"  
  
Changsub sniffed one more time, and then he slowly nodded. Sungjae felt the tightness in his chest disappear. This guy could make him feel hundreds of emotions in just a short amount of time and it was making him crazy. Maybe Changsub was really special to him to make him feel this way. He actually didn't mind falling even deeper for this guy, because he knew it's going to be worth it.  
  
"Can you let go of my face now?"  
  
Changsub woke him up from his thoughts. Sungjae realized that he was still cupping the older's face and that made him chuckle. He decided to squish the other's cheeks first before letting it go. Changsub mumbled a soft _ouch,_ massaging his cheeks after.  
  
"Do you know that your hands are big that's why it hurts more when you do that!" Changsub reprimanded him. "Geez. My cheeks are gonna fall off."  
  
A stupid yet funny memory entered Sungjae's brain. He suddenly laughed aloud, and Changsub proceeded to give him a questioning look.  
  
"What now?"  
  
"Hyung," he grinned while showing his right hand on Changsub's face. "Someone told me that something else is big when your hands are big."  
  
He saw Changsub eyeing his hands, and then his face, and then back to his hands, and then his gaze slowly went downward...  
  
He felt Changsub smack his head.  
  
"You!" _Slap._ "Disgusting!" _Slap._ "Piece!" _Slap._ "Of!" _Slap._ "Shit!" another hard slap on his arm. "I didn't know that you were this dirty! Don't you even dare try to come near me!"  
  
"Yah! Stop it!" Sungjae was laughing his ass off so hard he couldn't even breathe properly. "I was just talking about gloves! If your hands are big, then your gloves must also be big, right? What are you even talking about? Changsub hyung, don't tell me..."  
  
Changsub smacked him on the head once again.  
  
"Shut up!" Changsub's face resembled a tomato. "Don't talk to me!"  
  
He tried to stop himself from laughing, but he failed big time. Sungjae just watched Changsub rolling his eyes on him.  
  
_Thanks for the glove joke, Peniel._

***

After watching the movie, they decided to order a box of take out pizza with two large sodas, and then they headed to the Han River. It was mostly Sungjae's idea with the older just nodding at everything he suggested. Sungjae really wanted to watch the sunset with Changsub. He thought about this many times. Thinking it was too corny and cheezy for him, but when the image of Changsub sitting beside him as the nectarine and purple rays of the setting sun softly hitting his face entered his mind, he quickly decided to pursue the plan. He also thought that maybe the older would like this kind of settingㅡ just them relaxed as they wait for the sun to finally set. He didn't know he had that romantic side in him. Well, after resurrecting Peniel's glove joke from the grave and telling it to Changsub like it was the best joke ever, he just hoped that the older would still find him romantic.  
  
They looked for a place where they can sit and talk comfortably. They settled themselves on the grass, and then Changsub happily opened the box of pizza. He watched as the older hummed in delight after he swallowed a bite.  
  
"This tastes so good!" Changsub beamed at him, eyes forming into moon crescents. Sungjae stared and smiled at the lovely sight. The butterflies in his stomach were at it again. Would it be too much if he wish to see that face everyday? To see that smile every single moment of his life?  
  
"Eat." Changsub offered him to take a bite of his pizza. "Stop spacing out."  
  
He gladly took a bite. "I wasn't spacing out. I was just admiring the view."  
  
"What view?" Changsub noisily took a sip of his soda. "You're looking at me, though?"  
  
"Exactly."  
  
Changsub instantly choked on his soda, and it spilled all the way down on his chin and neck. The older gave him a threatening glare while putting down his drink. Sungjae cackled at the older as he tried to draw his handkerchief out from his pocket.  
  
"This hyung is so clumsy." He persistently wiped the soda from the older's chin and neck while Changsub was still glaring at him. "Relax, Lee Changsub."  
  
"You know what, you're getting weirder and weirder everyday." Changsub pointed out, snatching his handkerchief away from Sungjae's hands and continue wiping himself. "Stop saying weird things!"  
  
Sungjae just shrugged it off while smiling. This guy was kind of oblivious, no? Here he was, declaring how beautiful Changsub is, but to no avail. He was already subtly flirting, but everything just seemed to bounce back on an invisible wall.  
  
"Hyung," he called the older, a teasing smirk on his face.  
  
"What!"  
  
"Can I call you Changsub-ah?" He burst out laughing when Changsub looked at him in disbelief.  
  
"Yah! You really want to get beaten so bad, huh?" Changsub slid the sleeves of his sweater up and cracked his fingers. "The least thing you could do is respect me! I'm four years older than you!"  
  
"Why are we in the same year, then?" He asked, genuinely curious. His mind kept on bugging him about that thing lately. Sungjae internally chuckled when he saw Changsub being distracted by the topic and eventually forgetting his plans of beating him.  
  
"That? Well," Changsub started, picking up another piece of pizza. "I was late when I started studying high school. I stopped for four years because I had to help mom from making and selling dumplings in the market. That was also the time when my father started going to the casino, squandering his and mom's savings. We had to survive living, so I helped mom for four years. She quite saved enough for me to finally enroll in high school, so here I am, and why we're in the same year."  
  
"I really hate your father." Sungjae scoffed, feeling his blood boil a little everytime he heard something about that evil. "I'm glad he's in jail now."  
  
"Me, too." Changsub finished his second pizza and proceeded to eat his third slice. He seemed unbothered by his father anymore, so Sungjae was glad.

"Eat." Changsub offered him to take a bite from his pizza again, which Sungjae willingly accepted.  
  
"Hyung," he called the other again. "When did you start liking me?"  
  
Sungjae was relieved that Changsub was not drinking, or else the soda might actually be splashed all over his face this time. He saw the older shaking his head, as if finding the situation funny. Sungjae was just curious that's why he asked, or maybe he wanted to hear how Changsub fell in love with him. He was really sly like that.  
  
"I don't know why you're asking this, but okay. Now that I think about it, this feels like déjà vu." Changsub let out a small chuckle before starting. "You handed me your handkerchief when you saw me bleeding in the locker room."  
  
Sungjae digged his memory, trying hard to remember when did that even happen. He couldn't remember a bloodied Lee Changsub in the locker room, but a little shiver went down his spine when an image of the older covered in blood, lying on the locker room floor, entered his mind. He immediately grabbed the older's arm in panic.  
  
"Wait, I couldn't remember anything, but please tell me you're not covered in blood because someone tried to bully you." He truly got scared for a moment there. Good thing the older just snorted, and then laughed heartily at him. "So, you were not bullied? Thank god."  
  
"No, never happened." Changsub was still laughing while his mouth was full of pizza. "I knew you wouldn't be able to remember it. It was just a brief encounter." He sipped on his drink and continued. "My head was bleeding that time because Eunkwang hyung pushed me too hard while we were playing football, and I kind of hit the goal post with my head. I said I was okay, so I didn't accept any of their help to take me to the clinic. Honestly, I had no idea why I didn't even felt dizzy that time.  
  
Then, I went to my locker first to get my spare shirt, and that's when I saw you putting your books inside your own locker. You noticed me staring, so you tried to shoo me away, and that's when you finally saw me covered in blood. You looked totally horrified, so you just threw your handkerchief at me and said I should be careful. That's it."  
  
Sungjae wanted to punch himself. Why couldn't he remember that exact moment? To be completely honest, he thought Changsub would tell something dramatic, like he fell in love with him at first sight because he's too handsome or something. Thank heavens, it was just a normal encounter, afterall.  
  
"That's nice." He commented. "It felt nice that I get to help you in a way when that happened."  
  
"That was the only time when you were actually nice to me." Changsub hollowed in laughter when he saw Sungjae's annoyed face. "What, after that you kept on telling me to get lost!"  
  
Sungjae heaved a deep sigh. If he could only turn back time, but he guess everything was meant to happen in the past for him to fully enjoy this moment in the present. He glanced at Changsub's smiling face, trying to come back with a good counter attack, but he softly gasped when he saw how mesmerizing the older looked right at that moment.  
  
Hues of pink, purple, orange and yellow painted the afternoon sky. Millions of little shining diamonds swimmed on the river's surface, making it look like the stars fell down from the universe. The sun was beginning to set slowly, taking its time before the night fully takes over. The soft glow of the sun was shining through Changsub's smiling face, making him looked ethereal. Sungjae was in awe. He had never seen a guy as beautiful as Changsub.  
  
He saw how Changsub looked at the sunset and took a deep sigh, probably appreciating the magical moment in front of him. They both stayed like thatㅡ Changsub looking at the sun, while Sungjae looked at his own sun. It felt so peaceful, so intimate.  
  
But it seemed like Changsub has something to say. He heard him clear his throat, and then he looked at Sungjae with the softest smile in the world.  
  
"Witnessing the sun setting down in front of me like this, I realized something." Changsub started, his voice sounded so calm, yet sad. "You've been treating me so good this past few months, Yook Sungjae. I genuinely appreciate your every effort in teaching me, your patience when I couldn't get a formula right, your big help when I told you about my father, and then _this_. This date? Just, wow. I will always be thankful to you, really."  
  
Sungjae didn't know why but he suddenly felt nervous. No, he was actually scared. Changsub looked like he was trying to get rid of something, and he didn't like what he was feeling.  
  
"C-Changsub hyung," he mumbled as he looked into the other's eyes, trying to find some answers. "Why areㅡ"  
  
"You've done so many good things to me, Yook Sungjae." Changsub continued, making Sungjae unable to think properly. "I just realized now that maybe, we could've been really good friends, you know? I'd like to be your friend so much. We can continue being comfortable like this, as friends, I mean, but we can't do that if I still have feelings for you."  
  
Sungjae's heart dropped.  
  
"That's why I decided, like the sun setting in front of me, these feelings of mine that I have for you should go away, too." Changsub gave him his crescent moon-like smile, but Sungjae didn't even liked it one bit. "It's been three long years, and I should let it go now. I want to make you comfortable when you're with me. I know I made you feel disgusted with me before, and I'd like to change that now."  
  
Sungjae stopped breathing.  
  
"I'm giving up on you now, Sungjae-yah." Changsub was smiling like he's been delivering him good news. He even patted him on the shoulder before he stood up. "Let's start all over again. Let's be friends. Properly."  
  
Sungjae stopped living.

***

Sungjae kept on tossing and turning on his bed. It was already 2:30 am, and he had a drama club practice tomorrow at 8:00 am, yet here he was. He couldn't even sleep a wink. His mind was restless. His heart felt dead. How did their date ended up to them being friends? It doesn't make any sense to him. It was sailing so smoothly. Sungjae totally felt like they became closer while watching the sunset, but what the fuck happened? He couldn't think of any acceptable reasons as to why Changsub suddenly decided to throw away his feelings for him like that. It was just so absurd.  
  
When they went home to Changsub's house to continue their trigonometry lessons (which was the original plan that day), Sungjae was completely out of himself, his mind was left behind in Han River. He couldn't speak properly without breaking his voice. He couldn't even look at Changsub without spacing out. He also remembered when Changsub corrected him because he used the wrong formula. That's how his brain stopped functioning properly. He felt so helpless because he didn't know what to do during that time, but what made him totally speechless was that Changsub was acting like nothing happened, like he didn't break Sungjae's heart at all.  
  
He was mad. He was fuming. He didn't bring Changsub to Han River just to be his friend. He didn't bring him there just to feel his heart shatter into thousands of pieces. No, he couldn't accept the fact that Changsub decided to just end it all. No, he didn't want Changsub to be his friend. No, he wouldn't take any of this bullshits anymore.  
  
It was almost quarter to three, but Sungjae decided to take the risk and dialled Changsub's number. After a few minutes of ringing, someone finally answered.  
  
"Yes, Yook Sungjae?" Changsub didn't sound like he was sleeping before the call. "Do you need anything?"  
  
"Yes." He demanded, sounding stern. "I'll be outside your door after 5 minutes. Wait for me. Don't sleep."  
  
"What? Butㅡ"  
  
He quickly ended the call. No rooms left for rejection now. Sungjae grabbed his wallet and quickly ran downstairs. Everyone in this house was asleep already. _Good_. No one's gonna try to stop him. He made his way out and waited for a cab to pass by, but it seemed like not even one was coming. He didn't ponder any further, and just decided to run. He would run his way to Changsub's house, it was just five blocks away, anyway. The wind was slightly cold tonight and he forgot to bring his coat, but he didn't care.  
  
_You are going to regret everything you said, Lee Changsub._  
  
Time passed by so fast, and he was finally standing outside the older's doorway. He didn't think twice, and just knocked on the door firmly. No one responded so he just decided to call Changsub, but the door suddenly opened. The older quietly made his way outside and closed the door gently. He noticed that Changsub was already in his pyjamas.  
  
"What's wrong, Yook Sungjae?" The older asked, worry written all over his face. "Did something happen? Can I help?"  
  
Sungjae was panting so hard from running all the way here. He was sweating profusely. He looked like a mad-man now, but he didn't care.  
  
"You, Lee Changsub." He panted every syllable while staring at Changsub's eyes intensely. "Take back what you said earlier. Now."  
  
"What?" Changsub's eyebrows furrowed, confusion pooling in his eyes. "What did I say that I have to take back?"  
  
"Oh, you forgot? I'll remind you." Sungjae took a step closer to Changsub. "You wanted to be friends with me, remember? Take that shit back."  
  
"Yah! Yook Sungjae!" Changsub looked absolutely offended as he looked up to him, trying to match his gaze while placing one of his hands on his hip. "You're totally being rude right now, don't you think so? I thought we already agreed on that a while ago? Now, you want me to take it back? What bullshit!"  
  
"I never agreed to it!" Sungjae countered back as he took a step closer, again, but this time Changsub took a step back. "I never wanted you to be my friend!"  
  
"T-That... hurts." Changsub looked really hurt right now, but he was fighting with his emotions. "I thought you wanted it too, like meㅡ"  
  
"You are never a friend to me."  
  
Sungjae closed the remaining distance between them, making Changsub trapped between his body and the door behind him. Changsub tried to glare at him, but he won't take any of that now. He should've done this a long time ago. Maybe things wouldn't get much worse.  
  
Sungjae looked into Changsub's eyes, baring all of himself. He wanted him to see all of him, all of his weaknesses and desires. Changsub looked back at him, but he looked confused as hell. Sungjae was panting heavily, his eyes were focused on the sinful lips in front him, and Changsub seemed to notice that so he unconsciously licked his lips. Sungjae's mind went on total haywire. He was slowly making his way down to claim that luscious lips when Changsub suddenly stopped him.  
  
"Y-yah, if you don't want to be my friendㅡ"  
  
_Ah, so noisy._  
  
He grabbed Changsub's waist and pulled him closer to his body. The sudden warmth was driving him insane. He looked at Changsub one last time before he dipped down and completely claimed the other's lips. He groaned instantly. He felt ecstatic, alive even. He then nibbled on the older's upper lip, sucking it hard, making the older gasp and buckle his knees. He took the chance to slide his tongue inside and tasted every corner, every hidden place. He brought his other hand up and placed it on the older's nape, curling his fingers on the older's back hair.  
  
He just kept on tasting every inch of Changsub's mouth, sucking all the sweetness away, and then he felt it. Changsub's hand found their way at the back of his head, slightly pulling his hair. He felt Changsub finally responding, meeting his tongue and playing with him. Saliva was dripping from their chins, but no one had dared to stop. Sungjae even deepened the kiss which made the older moaned in pleasure. Sungjae's hand on Changsub's waist held the other tighter, yearning for the older's warmth some more.  
  
They both didn't want it to end, Sungjae could feel it, but the lack of oxygen was being a major nuisance right now, so with one last nibble on the older's lip, he finally let the man go. They were both panting heavily while looking into each other's eyes with obvious want and desire. Sungjae was controlling himself so hard to not devour the man again. He needed to make one thing clear first.  
  
"Y-Yook Sungjae..." It seemed like Changsub had lost all of his strength because of that mindblowing kiss so he couldn't do anything but whisper. "What... was that all about?"  
  
Sungjae gazed at the older's eyes deeply, and smirked.  
  
"The reason why you can never be my friend."  
  
"W-whㅡ"  
  
"I don't kiss my friends, Lee Changsub."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this has gotten way too long for my liking haha. i think i got carried away. the next chapter will be the last! please stay tuned and im always thankful for all of you reading this!!


	10. CHAPTER TEN

"I don't kiss my friends, Lee Changsub."  
  
"I'm s-sorry... I d-don't understand..."  
  
Sungjae chuckled softly as he lifted Changsub's chin to look at him directly in the eyes. The older looked dazed, his cheeks were flushed, and lips parted slightly while breathing heavily as if he had just ran a marathon. Changsub also looked overwhelmed, which he could totally relate to. Sungjae's heart felt like it would burst out of his ribcage from beating so crazily. His mind was spinning from feeling nervous and giddy at the same time. He kissed Changsub's forehead before he decided to answer his question.  
  
"You're too oblivious, don't you think so?" Sungjae raised an eyebrow at Changsub, trying to tease the older. "I don't want you to be my friend. I don't want us to be just friends. I want us to be more than that, Lee Changsub."  
  
Changsub took his time to process what he said, looking so lost more than ever. His eyebrows were furrowed and confusion evident on his face. Sungjae felt the older removing his hands around his neck which made him stumble down a little, knees still probably weak after what happened. Good thing Sungjae's arm was still around the older's waist so he caught him up and helped him steady his feet. Changsub looked at the arm that was still around his waist and decided to remove it also. Sungjae almost whined loudly at the loss.  
  
"Can you not come near me for a moment?" Changsub pleaded, hands pushing Sungjae slightly away. "I can't think properly if you're too c-close."  
  
Sungjae completely understood, of course. He nodded as he gave Changsub the space he needed.  
  
"I'm sorry but," Changsub started, eyes looking down while nervously fiddling the hem of his shirt with his fingers. "I thought I heard you want to be... m-more than friends with me? If this is just a prank, please stopㅡ"  
  
Sungjae let out a frustrated groan.  
  
"Hyung, I already had my tongue inside your mouth, and you still think this is a prank?" He rolled his eyes so hard. He saw Changsub gasped, face turning more crimson. "Listen, Lee Changsub. I don't play with people's feelings, specially you. I will never do that to you."  
  
"But I don't understand!" Changsub stressed, feeling frustrated. "Okay, this isn't a prank, but why do you want to be more than friends with me? Do you even like me?"  
  
_God, help me. He really doesn't get it._  
  
"A lot! I like you a lot!" Sungjae exasperatingly said, hands prancing in the air. He then let out a frustrated sigh. This is gonna be a long night, or morning. "I wouldn't run my way just to get hereㅡ because I couldn't sleep when you said that you're giving up on meㅡ if I didn't even like you! Seriously Changsub hyung, isn't it obvious? Can't you see that I really, really like you?"  
  
Changsub's eyes widened in surprise. He looked totally blown away by his confession.  
  
"B-but... I thought you're straight?" Changsub suddenly exclaimed, and then he shook his head, disbelieving. "I don't get it. You always remind me before that you don't like guys. How come you're saying that you like me now?"  
  
"I thought I'm straight, too. Well, not until you came." Sungjae let out a frustrated breath as he rubbed his face with his both hands. "You made me feel things I never knew I could feel. Also, I don't think I never liked other guys. I only like you. It's just you."  
  
He saw Changsub bite his lips, looking like he was trying hard to suppress his tears. _No, you're not going to cry._ Sungjae gathered up all the courage in his body. It's now or never. He needed to let this all out. He couldn't just let Changsub give up on him. He must let the older know what he truly feel for him. He then desperately looked at the older, eyes pleading.  
  
"I always want to be with you, hyung. I always want to see you. I think I'd die if I won't see you for a day. I like it when we eat together, play Overwatch together, study together, I always want us to be together. I want to be by your side, hyung. I want to feel you beside me. I need you here beside me."  
  
He took a step closer to the older who visibly gulped at his sudden action. Sungjae then held Changsub's hand tightly, imprisoning it with his own hand, and brought it over his chest as he heaved a deep sigh.  
  
"My heart feels like it's going to explode everytime you smile." Sungjae now lifted Changsub's hand up to his lips and kissed it tenderly. "I like the way you smile. I like it when you're directly smiling at me. You're eyes are so fucking beautiful when you smile hyung, don't you know that? I would do anything just to see you smile like that forever. You have no idea how much I like it when you call me _love_. I want you to call me _love_ everyday. I want you to love me everyday, hyung."  
  
Sungjae took another tentative step closer to the older until their bodies were touching once again, and this time, Changsub didn't push him away. Sungjae felt relieved. He lowered his head and made their foreheads touched. He closed his eyes momentarily, liking the feeling of being home. He then inhaled Changsub's addicting scentㅡ his most favorite smell in the world. He slowly opened his eyes and he saw Changsub staring at him, eyes carefully scanning his face. A warm smile appeared on Sungjae's lips.  
  
"You don't know how much I love you, you dummy." He confessed sincerely, voice so low it almost sounded like a whisper. "I love you so much, Lee Changsub. Please, let me love you back. Let me take care of you. Let me be a part of your life, please."  
  
It felt like forever. Changsub wasn't saying anything and just staring at him, and Sungjae's mind was in utter chaos. His heart suddenly forgot how to function, too. He just couldn't keep calm. What if Changsub rejected him? He felt beads of sweat running down his neck. This was making him anxious as hell. If Changsub would say no, then it's really over for him.  
  
Sungjae held his breath when he felt Changsub hesitantly wrapped his arms around his waist, then gently leaning his head on his chest. His heart was thudding like mad and maybe Changsub could hear it, too. He felt the older snuggle closer to him. He smiled as he hugged Changsub back tightly, never wanting to let him go eversince the beginning of this midnight madness. Sungjae glanced down to peek at the other's face, but it was deeply buried in his chest. He guessed that Changsub might be feeling embarassed as hell, and that was just so cute.  
  
_Gosh, I love this man._  
  
"How did you even fell in love with me?" He heard Changsub's muffled voice. "I'm just... an ordinary guy. No special anything or whatsoever. I'm not rich, I'm not good looking, I'm not smart, I'm just... me."  
  
"Hyung, look at me." Sungjae tried to lift the older's chin once again, and he was greeted with a red-faced Changsub, his eyes swimming with uncertainty and insecurity. Sungjae just wanted to sweep all of that away. "I don't care if you have plenty of money or what, that didn't made me love you, and you're beautiful, always keep that in mind. I really like looking at your face. I think you have a cute nose." He bopped the older's nose which made the other crinkle it cutely. "I'm not smart too, hyung, I just study hard. From now on, we will study hard together, okay? I love you because you're you. You're Lee Changsubㅡ my precious dummy."  
  
Sungjae kissed the top of Changsub's head multiple times. He wanted to make him feel that he was special and he was loved, that he was telling the truth, and that he was sincere. He felt Changsub sigh against his chest.  
  
"I didn't even wish for you to like me back. Never. I am used to loving you alone. I contented myself with just talking to you in the hallways for two minutes for the past three years, and I was fine with that." He saw Changsub slowly looked up at him again, his voice breaking as tears were threatening to fall from his eyes. "I've never imagined you saying all of these to me now. I can't believe it, Sungjae, that this day will come. The day you'll say that... you l-love me."  
  
A tear fell, and another, and another until it seemed like it will never stop any time soon. Sungjae playfully clucked his tongue while wiping those tears away from the older's cheek.  
  
"I hate seeing you cry." He made sure to dry the older's cheeks before cupping them gently. "Don't cry specially if you're with me, okay? The first time I saw you cry, my heart felt like it was going to rip itself apart. Changsub hyung, I know you still cannot believe everything that was happening now, but I'm willing to prove myself everyday until you believe me. That's how much you mean to me."  
  
He heard Changsub chuckled softly. Finally, a smile! Sungjae couldn't help but break into a wide grin when he saw the other laugh. It was his favorite view, afterall.  
  
"You don't need to do that." The older sniffed, it was so cute it made Sungjae's insides melt. "I believe you. Maybe it's just my insecurities taking over me tonight."  
  
Changsub removed his hands that were around Sungjae's waist and wounded it around the younger's neck instead. Sungjae felt himself froze when Changsub tiptoed to reach his face and suddenly pecked his lips. It was just a quick touch of lips against lips, but it made Sungjae's heart stopped beating nonetheless. The older's grin widened as his eyes turned into those precious crescent moons.  
  
"I love you, love."  
  
Sungjae's heart swelled with happiness and delight. He had already heard those words before, and yet he decided to just ignore and reject it many times to the point that Changsub stopped saying that to him anymore. Now that he has heard them again, he couldn't help but choke a little, feeling like a missing part of him was finally found, and placed where it truly belonged. Changsub was that missing puzzle piece that he just kept on tossing to the sides, refusing to acknowledge his presence, and he's just so glad that he had never lost that special piece completely.

"I love you too, dummy."  
  
They kissed for the second time that midnight, and it was totally different from their first one. This time they took it slow as they just let themselves enjoy the feeling of their lips moving against each other. Sungjae nibbled on the older's lower lip with so much fervor. He couldn't get enough of how marvelous he was feeling at the moment. He felt Changsub's arms around his neck tightened its hold as they tried to deepen the kiss. Their tongues were languidly dancing together, creating a perfect rhythm they both tried to prolong. It was a very intimate moment and Sungjae promised to treasure it for the rest of his life.  
  
Changsub was the one to break their kiss this time, and then he gazed at Sungjae with such loving eyes. The younger couldn't help but fall even deeper in love while those beautiful brown eyes that he loved so much were looking at him like he was its world. He had never felt so blissful like this in his entire life. He dipped his head down again to peck the older's lip for the last time.  
  
"I love you." He whispered against the other's lips, their breaths mingling and becoming one. "I'm so happy you never really gave up on me."  
  
"I love you too." Changsub paused for a minute, seeming like he had thought of something, and Sungjae was intrigued. The older then glanced at him with worry in his eyes. "It's getting really late now, you know? Why don't you come in and sleep over?"  
  
"I'm fine with that."  
  
"Good." Changsub placed his head over his shoulder. "I wanna cuddle you before I sleep."  
  
Sungjae almost choke on his saliva. _Calm the fuck down, you pervert! Changsub only wanted cuddles, and his mom was probably sleeping already. Stop thinking nonsense._  
  
He then remembered something important.  
  
"I have a practice for Drama Club later at 8:00 am, though." Sungjae frowned, not liking the sudden nuisance. "I think I still have four hours left to cuddle with you?"  
  
He heard Changsub gasped as he pulled himself away from the younger. The older's eyes got bigger while looking at him incredulously.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me earlier?!" Changsub was pushing him away now. "Go now and rest! You should sleep. Why are you even here in the first place when you still have practice tomorrow! Go now, love. Let's just see each other later."  
  
Sungjae stopped Changsub from pushing him all the way down the road. To be honest, he could give zero fucks about their practice tomorrow.  
  
"Hyung, it will just be script reading and character introduction, as far as I can remember." He hugged the older again, placing his chin on top of Changsub's head. "I guess I'll attend next time. I wanna cuddle with my boyfriend too, you know?"  
  
He looked down on the older when he realized that he was suddenly being quiet. Then he saw Changsub blushing again as he slapped his shoulder softly. Sungjae's grin got wider. _Boyfriend_. Changsub was now his boyfriend. He felt giddy knowing that the guy in front of him belongs to him now.  
  
"Are you sure? Aren't you going to be reprimanded if you skip tomorrow?" Changsub was biting his lips, worrying over something trivial. "I don't want to be the reason if you get scolded tomorrow."  
  
"I won't get scolded, trust me." He said proudly. "The president owe me $20, so he wouldn't even try. Let's go to bed now, hyung."  
  
Changsub was hesitant for a moment, but he let him in eventually. They both tried to make minimal noise as much as possible to not wake the older's mom. They tried to fit on the older's single-sized bed by having Changsub lay on top him, the older's head lying comfortably on his chest while Sungjae's hands were securely wrapped around the older's waist.  
  
They whispered sweet nothings to each other before they both fell asleep, their hearts beating together as one, finally.

***

Sungjae felt ecstatic as he saw Changsub's text message for him just now.

It was a stormy Wednesday morning, but Sungjae felt like the sun was shining brightly outside while the flowers continue to bloom, and the birds fly their way up to the sky. He was in such a good mood. It's been three days since he and Changsub had became official. It still felt surreal, honestly. Having the older by his side without using any excuses just to be with him, being able to cuddle him freely, being able to steal a kiss from time to time, being able to hear the older say that he loves him, and being able to say that he loves him back without any hesitations. It just felt so wonderful, like he was dreaming.  
  
He chuckled lightly as he remembered the day he went home after spending the night in Changsub's place. His mom was waiting for him in the living room, ready to scold him any minute. She inquired where he had gone, to which Sungjae replied in a sing-song voice _I went to my boyfriend's_. He saw his mother's eyes widened in surprised as she rushed her way to him, hands clasped over her mouth.  
  
"Tell me that boyfriend of yours is Mochi, and your allowance is safe. I really want Mochi to be your boyfriend!"  
  
He burst out laughing after he heard his mother gushing over Changsub. His mother got really quite fond of the older, and he was glad that he didn't have to force his mom to like his boyfriend. He looked at his mother with a wide grin as he nodded quickly. His mother squealed in delight as she hugged him tightly.  
  
"We'll go over their house today after your classes, okay?" Sungjae's mom was bouncing up and down in excitement. "We need to meet them formally! I'm so happy for you, son! I really like that guy. I'm glad you're finally together!"  
  
It seemed like his mom was happier than him when she heard the good news, but that's okay. His heart felt light and giddy because she's happy for him and Changsub. They went to the older's house that day, and seeing Changsub all red and embarassed was fun to Sungjae. He kept supressing his laughter whenever his mom showed affection to Changsub. She would ruffle his hair and pinch his cheeks whenever she got the urge, saying Changsub was just so cute not to smother. The older gave him a look asking for help, but he just shrugged it off as he let his mom do whatever she wanted.  
  
Sungjae and Changsub's moms went along really well. They both found something common in one another, and that is cooking. It felt like they knew each other for a long time now based on how casual they converse. They exchanged a few recipes here and there, and sometimes they gush over the two of them. He and Changsub got bored listening to the two talk, so they went inside Changsub's room. They talked for a while before they decided to make out, trying hard not to make any noise so those two ladies outside won't have any idea what they were doing. They were sneaks like that.  
  
It was a fun night overall.  
  
_Love, I've gathered them all here. Where are you?_  
  
Sungjae grinned as he read Changsub's message again. He was now only waiting for Ilhoon to fetch Peniel, and then they're ready to go. Sungjae and Changsub decided to gather their friends in the cafeteria to announce their relationship to them formally. They also agreed to treat them for lunch. He was feeling excited. He'd like to see the look of utter shock on their friends' faces, and laugh at them loudly.  
  
"Sungjae-yah!"  
  
He saw Ilhoon walking with Peniel. He made his way to them and led them to the cafeteria without saying anything. The two looked puzzled, and Sungjae just let them be. They went inside the cafeteria, and his eyes immediately look for Changsub, and then he saw him sitting with Eunkwang and Hyunsik on the table near the exit. They quickly made their way to them. He gave Changsub a loving smile first before ordering Peniel and Ilhoon to sit opposite Eunkwang and Hyunsik. Ilhoon immediately greeted the two and introduced Peniel to them. So far, the atmosphere was good.  
  
"Hey, why are we all gathered here?" Eunkwang managed to ask. "Is today International Friends Day or something?"  
  
They all laughed at Eunkwang's silliness. Sungjae decided to clear his throat, aiming for a more serious atmosphere. He was too giddy and ecstatic to feel nervous at all.  
  
"Changsub hyung and I decided to treat you all to lunch today." He started, excitement evident in his voice. "We have an announcement to make."  
  
That line finally got each of their friends' attention. They gave the both of them curious yet expecting eyes. Sungjae saw Ilhoon smirking at him, probably getting the hint already. Anyways, he was always smart like that so Sungjae just ignored him and continue his speech.  
  
"Changsub hyung and I," He beamed at the older while intertwining their fingers together. "We're officially a couple now!"  
  
No one was reacting except Peniel, who was clapping his hands cutely while saying congratulations. Ilhoon was looking at Hyunsik and Eunkwang with so much amusement. Sungjae curiously glanced over the two, and then he saw Eunkwang groaning while rubbing his face with his hands. Hyunsik was laughing like a hyena while laying his open hands in front of Eunkwang.  
  
"Eunkwang hyung, you owe me $30 this time!" Hyunsik then clapped his hands while doing a little victory dance in his seat. "Call your boyfriend now, hyung. He also owe me $30!"  
  
"Why did Minhyuk vote no, too? Aaaaah!"  
  
"Because the two of you are both pessimists. Yay! I gained $60 today!"  
  
Sungjae was just gaping at them now. This was not the reaction he wanted, not at all. They should be surprised or shocked. He even expected one of them to walk out of the cafeteria, but it seemed like no one really cared for the announcement they just made.  
  
"Yah!" He heard Changsub hissed beside him. He turned to look at the older, and he seemed like he's ready to punch the living daylights out of his friends. "I told the two of you to stop betting between me and Sungjae! Now you even added Minhyuk hyung to your game!"  
  
"But it's fun, Changsub-ah!" Eunkwang countered despite losing. "It's thrilling to see how your relationship is progressing!"  
  
"My love life is not a game!" Changsub pouted while quickly glancing at Sungjae, mouthing a silent _sorry_. He then turned to look back at Hyunsik after. "What did you even bet that made you won $60?"  
  
"Simple. That you will be in a relationship with Sungjae-ssi." Hyunsik pointed at Eunkwang, eyes disappearing as he smiled brightly. "This man and his boyfriend voted no, that you will not be in a relationship with Sungjae-ssi."  
  
"Eunkwang hyung!" Changsub whined cutely. "Don't you believe in my abilities?"  
  
"What abilities?!" Eunkwang almost stood up from his seat, the discussion was becoming hilariously heated. "You told me last week that you already gave up on your feelings for Sungjae-ssi! That's why I voted no! So how the hell did you two ended up together?"  
  
"Ah, I made that possible." Sungjae butted in the conversation while raising his hand. "I went over to Changsub hyung's house at three in the morning, and gave him the best kiss of his life."  
  
Everyone in the table roared in cheers and laughters. Changsub was turning crimson once again, jabbing Sungjae's side using his elbow repeatedly. Sungjae just laughed along. This felt nice, having their set of friends become one, too. He hoped this small gathering will continue to bloom into a new found friendship. They seemed to be really fun to be with, just like what Ilhoon had said before. Sungjae wouldn't mind adding a few people in his friend's list. Whoever his boyfriend's friends should be his friends too, right?  
  
He then stared at the older lovingly as he tried to pinch his cheeks. Sungjae leaned down, whispering.  
  
"I'm so happy. Thank you."  
  
Changsub smiled at him and whispered back, "Love you."  
  
"Hey, hey, hey! No public display of affection please!" Ilhoon playfully protested with the others agreeing immediately. "The food is here! Let's eat!"  
  
Maybe they should just continue later, when it's only the two of them alone. As for now, they should just enjoy themselves as they celebrate together with their friends first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if this took so long!! i went to the beach with my friends and the signal was so shitty!! anyway, this is the end already. thank you so much for waiting and reading this!!
> 
> oh, i made an epilogue for this! turn to the next chapter and see!!


	11. EPILOGUE

"My love! Sungjae, my love!"

If this was before, Sungjae would've run away for his life just to get away from the nutcase that is Lee Changsub. He would've even wish to be born in a different country just so he wouldn't have the chance to breathe the same air together with the older. He would've also yelled at him to get lost, or to leave him alone. He would've even flipped him his middle finger just to piss the other off. He really hated Changsub that much, but that was all in the past now.

"Hyung!" he instantly beamed at the sight of the older rushing his way towards him while his backpack was bouncing up and down noisily. He opened his arms wide and waited for Changsub to come up to him. "Come here!"

Sungjae almost toppled backwards due to the force of Changsub's hug. He imprisoned the older in his arms, squeezing the life out of the other. He heard Changsub grumbling while wiggling his way out of his bone-crushing hug. He laughed out loud when he saw the older scowling at him.

"Are you trying to kill me, Yook Sungjae?" The older was stretching his back and waist, probably trying to ease the pain from the hug.

"No, I will never do that." Sungjae wrapped his arm around Changsub's shoulder as he lead the way to their Trigonometry class. "I just missed you, that's all."

"The fuck are you saying?" Changsub just snorted hard at him, eyes rolling sarcastically. "We just saw each other this morning. Don't be dramatic."

"It's true." He quickly pecked the older's head and sniffed it after. "I missed smelling your scent."

"Stay away from me, you creep." Changsub pushed him away jokingly. "And will you stop smelling my hair?!"

"What can I do?" He tightened his hold around the older, his heart felt so contented right now. "My boyfriend is irresistable."

Changsub jabbed his elbow on his side, face blushing like mad, which made Sungjae burst out laughing. _Boyfriends_. That's what they are now. It's been six months since they decided to have a relationship, and Sungjae swear his life had never been the same, he was happier and livelier more than ever. He never imagined that it's Changsub who will complete him like this. He knows it's still early to say that they will stay like this for the rest of their lives, but he's willing to hope, he's willing to make it happen. He promised to himself that he will never let Changsub go ever again, and he's planning on sticking to that promise as long as Changsub still wants him, as long as Changsub still loves him.

"My mom wants to visit your mom later." Changsub woke him up from his thoughts as he felt the older wrapped a hand around his waist. "She said she wants your mom to try her new jajangmyeon recipe. I'll come with her so we could play Overwatch after we study."

"They've quite become the best of friends, no?" He chuckled as he remembered their moms gushing over the two of them whenever they were all gathered together. "They both like cooking so that's understandable. I'll let mom know later."

Sungjae smirked as an idea entered his mind. He placed his mouth near Changsub's ear, whispering in a low voice.

"Or maybe we can just make out after we study. What do you think?"

He expected Changsub to be a blushing mess while flipping him over and punching him endlessly, but that didn't happen. He swallowed an invisible lump in his throat as he saw Changsub smirking at him, a hint of dangerous playfulness pooling in his orbs. Changsub then tiptoed to reach his ear, whispering back at him in his seductive voice.

"Isn't it better if I just _blow_ you right after we study?" Changsub chuckled lowly. "I miss feeling you inside my mouth, love."

Changsub winked at him, and then proceeded to leave him alone after that. Sungjae felt his throat getting dry as shivers quickly run down his spine. _That sly fox!_ He couldn't even move a step because he was stunned as hell. _That's a very dangerous statement._ He tried so hard to calm himself, or else he wouldn't be able to stop himself from dragging the older to the nearest toilet if he didn't.

"Oy, Yook Sungjae!" He felt Ilhoon tapped his shoulder, and he saw how his friend gave him a questioning look. "What are you still doing here? Classes will start soon. Let's go."

He nodded absent-mindedly as he tried to match Ilhoon's pace. He tried to remove certain images that are trying to occupy a large part of his brainㅡ such as those seductive brown eyes looking up at him, swollen red lips, a thin hand moving up and down, and a sinful tongue swirling around the tip of hisㅡ

"Yah, where is Changsub hyung by the way?" He was woken up from his unwanted dirty thoughts when he heard Ilhoon asked him something. "You two aren't together? That's new."

"That nutter." Sungjae gritted his teeth as he remembered what Changsub did a while ago. "What was he even thinking? Saying things like that..."

"Why? What did he say?"

"Nothing." Sungjae instantly dismissed the topic before Ilhoon could get a hint. "Let's go."

They finally made their way inside the classroom without Sungjae totally losing his mind, thankfully. He saw Changsub smiling brightly at him, moon-like crescents and all, as if nothing had happened a while ago. He quietly sat on his seat which was in front of Changsub, and then turning to face the older with a warning glare.

"What's funny?"

"Nothing."

"Stop doing that to me! I hate you."

"I love you, love."

Sungjae sighed, feeling completely defeated as he turned to face in front again with a melted heart. Those words were really his weakness. It will forever be his weakness. That Changsub guy should be thankful that he loves him so much eventhough he drives him crazy all the time.

_I love you too, you idiot._

 

-END-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THAT'S IT!! THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR READING THIS!! I didn't expect that I would be able to finish this thing lol. This was just a product of my boredom so I didn't take this seriously at first. But along the way I got carried away and I just found myself enjoying writing this whole fic hahaha. Thank you again for everyone who left comments and kudos. I appreciate it so much!! Thank you again for reading!! Bye!!
> 
> ps: Let's all give our love and support to BTOB's This Is Us!! ♡♡♡


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